Readers of Riddled will be familiar with the Daily Torygraph. Our loyal staff are even more familiar with it, on account of 3rd-tier newspapers such as Canadian media and our own Com-Post buying its opinion pieces to fill the space between the advertisements, on account of its syndicated journamalistic creations being cheaper than its rivals'.
Now the main Torygraph mission statement is to provide its readers with fresh aggrievation and feed their free-floating sense of resentment that the rest of the world lacks respect for them. This is the noospapper that gave us Niles Gardiner's list of "President Obama’s top ten insults against Britain" (parts 1 and 2). 
Already the editors are acquainting the base with the fact that Mitt Romney holds Great Britain in just as much contempt as does Obama, so that the resentment will remain stoked whichever of them wins the next US presidential election.So part of the style sheet for Torygraph writers is to drag "Bust of Churchill!!" at least once into any discussion of US / UK affairs. This being Epstein's portrait of Winsters, part of the Government Art Collection, that was on loan to the White House until it was INSULTINGLY REJECTED by the Obama administration, "insultingly rejected" here being a term of art for "returned on the due date".
Vanishing bust of Churchill
This is why we have a pair of anonymous "Romney advisers", promising a new Anglo-Saxon policy of "Bust or bust". As evidence for Obama's leftward leanings, one adviser argues that "He wouldn’t like singing ‘Land of Hope and Glory'", perhaps under the impression that this is the US national anthem. The Romney campaign denies the report but the Torygraph has affirmed the existence of the Anglo-Saxon messengers (and it is indeed possible that they found a couple of Young Conservatives who once e-mailed the Romney campaign with their suggestions of how much better they would do if they were running it).Their identity is now revealed:
If the other messenger is called Hatta, my happiness will be complete.
8 comments:
Boris the Spider....
~
After the zompocalypse, the US National Anthem will be "Eat The Rich"
Don't hatta the playa hatta the game.
Well played, old chum!
Now the main Torygraph mission statement is to provide its readers with fresh aggrievation and feed their free-floating sense of resentment that the rest of the world lacks respect for them.
No boobs on page 3?
judging by the people they write about, it's boobs all the way down.
The most charitable explanation for much of the material in the Telegraph is that its writers are competing to come up with a column so stupid that the Com-Post won't reprint it.
The TELEGRAPH?
Srsly?
Maybe if they gave up on the whole fucking nineteenth century "dit dit dah dah" crap and, oh, I dunno, took a wild ass run at Unicode, or even just ASCII fer crissakes, they'd...
Huh?
Oh.
Please carry on...
They are competing with their French equivalent, La Semaine au Sémaphore.
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