If only someone would write a book about cliches and their pernicious effect on a writer's clarity of thought

Perhaps Jonah Goldberg -- conservative thinker and autodidactyl social historian -- read The Adventure of the Engineer's Thumb at an impressionable age* and received lasting mental scars from its graphic account of a cleaver-related amputation. This would explain why thumblessness imagery spills out whenever he puts finger to keyboard.

* Show us on the anatomically-accurate doll where the story impressed you, Jonah.

Consulting the Great Gazoogle for the first time since last time, we find another four displays of his compulsion to add to an earlier nine...

July 3, 2012:

November 26, 2010:

March 20, 2007:

January 2008:

Oh noes, it's spreading to other conservatives! I'm not sure whether to be more concerned about the contagious nature of the trauma, or the fact that Goldberg has epigones.
However, nothing should surprise us in a world where there are GG Allin tribute bands.

UPDATED with Bonus Gripless Thumbs: