Monday, August 20, 2012

Riddled Political Consultancy

The problem:
The phrase "I misspoke" is losing its value as a way of dealing with excessively honest explanations of Republican policy. For a time it fooled the public into believing that the offending words had been a genuine slip of the tongue, but now it is understood as a simple request for a mulligan, i.e. "I did not realise how unpopular our policy would be; let me un-say it and we shall never speak of it again".

Our advice:

(1) Buy Disneyland.

(2) Hold all future press conferences in the Mad Hatter's Tea Party. Candidates should refuse to answer questions until the journalists are all safely seated within the tea-cups assigned to them, with the doors secured, whirling around in a dizzy haze of nostalgia for their long-lost childhoods. Candidates may or may not be dressed in a Dormouse or Mad Hare fur-suit, depending on personal tastes. Beer and stronger drinks should be available.

(3) When the next controversy inevitably erupts...

"I was in my cups when I made that offer," Keats said.

6 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Candidates should refuse to answer questions until the journalists are all safely seated within the tea-cups assigned to them, with the doors secured, whirling around in a dizzy haze of nostalgia for their long-lost childhoods.

That's the way it works Back In The USA already, S.C. (IF that is your real name!!!1!)
~

Substance McGravitas said...

Fantasyland is where it's at.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

"I was in my cups when I jumped nude into the Sea of Galilee."

It works for just about anything.

Another Kiwi said...

"I was in my cups when I jumped nude into the Sea of Galilee."
In accordance with the prophecy!!

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

"I was in my cups when I jumped nude into the Sea of Galilee."

New Rush lyrics don't count.

Smut Clyde said...

The best things in life are free.
In accordance with the prophecy.