The Art of the Still

1957-J-#2, at Still Museum, Denver

Clyfford 'Pot' Still... a luminary of the Abstract Expressionist movement, who forged his own non-figurative formal vocabulary,* and insisted on his works remaining in storage until they could be housed 30 years later in their own dedicated museum; fond of working on a large scale, with rough-textured impasto troweled onto the canvas with the palette knife...

Or a master of the Black Arts, using his arcane command of Gramarye to unlock the forbidden gate and conjure up visions from the demonic domains, so he was simply painting from life?

The only way to be sure is to perform the same blasphemous rituals oneself, preferably staging the seances in the physical proximity of one of Still's paintings so that the lingering resonances of ectoplasmic charge will intensify the morphogenetic flux.

If following the formulae transcribed in the Metronomicon of Abdul al-Hazmat, bear in mind that the author's insistence on partial nudity and the transgressive use of body fluids might reflect his own predilections rather than the Goetic tradition. Also it helps to wait until the guards at the Still Museum are distracted elsewhere, for they are quick to misunderstand.

Probation for Colorado woman who
slid buttocks across $30 million painting

* A distinctive vocabulary, and easy to copy... Still himself was noted for selling the same composition several times.

1957-J-#1, at Sanford University

In related news: 10 tonnes of toilet rolls blocked a highway in Ohio after a traffic incident. Police are refusing to comment until they have completed the paperwork.

UPDATED with Bonus Clyfford Style Cover Art, previously omitted because Smut brain not work fast.