Saturday, September 22, 2012

Counting on it




"As long as it is not The Shoe Box Man, it should be all right," I observed to Smut Clyde as we perused the latest notice on the "Training Courses section of Riddled Enterprises cafeteria noticeboard.
"I dunno how they get away with calling this custard" opined Smut  "damp flour is more like it. The Shoe Box Man was not one of life's educators." *
"I thought they were reasonable questions, Smut" I vouchsafed "If someone wants you to make believe that a shoe box is a computer then one is entitled to ask what kind of shoes."
"Plus whose shoes they were" he added "it stands to reason that who wore the internal components would influence the way it worked"  he said smiling fondly at the memory of the last Computer Basic course we had attended.
'Rubbish muffins at that course, this one had better be good" I said sagely.
And indeed it was, though Professors Cabbage's diffident engine was not something that one grasped how to use, immediately.


"Beautiful workmanship, Prof. Cabbage" Smut commented " with all the wheels an that".
"Yes" I opined " like a series of intersecting things in a solid thing. Like Carrot Surprise Cake"
"Ha ha" said Prof. Cabbage "But not as surprising!"
"Does it work out who owes what in a running bar tab?" asked Evangeline van Holsterin.
"I am sure that it could be programmed in such a manner" said the prof.
"Also expense accounts" I asked " since some people get all bent out of shape about them."
"Well I think it could do that " said the prof. "although it is mainly envisaged that it would be used for calculating advanced mathematical equations"
"That'd be AK's expenses all right" suggested tigris. She added hurriedly "all perfectly legitimate of course".
"You can't just wear any old lampshade at a winterstipple party" I explained.
 "It is thought that the diffident engine could be most useful in calculating fluid dynamic equations " said the prof.
The class seemed to lean closer "Like drinking?" I asked.
"No, more in terms of the complex interactions and physics of fluids" said the prof.
The class leaned back.
"Time for muffins" suggested Smut.
"I would like to apply the diffident engine to the mixing bowl of Raspberry and White Chocolate muffins" I noted as we went into the dining hall "as I always get the raspberry but no White Chocolate".
"One of life's mysteries, that" observed Smut "the proof might be in the pudding"
* Persons who recognise the Dilbert reference are advised to use their pieholes for the reason that they were so named. Also theft is homage.

10 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

She added hurriedly "all perfectly legitimate of course".

I SUSPECTS BRIBERY!!! BRIBERY PIRATES!
~

Another Kiwi said...

You want the blueberry pirates, sir. Next door down

Smut Clyde said...

"the proof might be in the pudding"
Evidently it was a galley proof.

Smut Clyde said...

Also too, is putting proofs in the pudding any worse than putting Shakespeare manuscripts in the pies?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

If you don't eat your Shakespeare pie, how can you have your pudding, S.C.?
~

Another Kiwi said...

I see that one of the pudding plays was The Parliament of Love, which, er, I do not wish to think about, thankyou Paula Bennett.

mikey said...

The butter wouldn't melt
So pour it on the pie...

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

"I dunno how they get away with calling this custard"

So... the custard went to custard?

"Yes" I opined " like a series of intersecting things in a solid thing. Like Carrot Surprise Cake"
"Ha ha" said Prof. Cabbage "But not as surprising!"


Sillies, the cake is a lie.

Emma said...

Stoppard references are the sexiest references of all. Also.

Substance McGravitas said...

I read "shop steward references" and agreed for a split-second.