Sunday, September 9, 2012

"How many Jews know that their god was originally amphibious?"

The Riddled Time Machine has brought back the first film clips of two aliens from a planet in the double- or triple-star Sirius system who came to Mesopotamia 7000 years ago. Temple identifies them with the Nommo water-spirits that appear in Dogon folklore.
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Here are two priests of the Oannes cult worshipping those aliens, whom they have mistaken for a divinity. Or perhaps they are a pair of 'finnies' who like to dress up in fish costumes and get their kink on, using the shield of Religious Freedom to deflect the wave of public disgust that would descend upon them otherwise.
Extant fragments of Berossus' History tell us how Oannes taught the Chaldæans the skills of farming and social organisation. Then there was Annedotus, very like to Oannes; later a further four double-shaped personages came out of the sea to land, whose names were Euedocus, Eneugamus, Eneuboulus, and Anementus. Between them these advisers set humankind off along the pathway to today's urbanised, technological world.

No wonder the aliens are wearing Scramble Suits to conceal their identities.

In Temple's theory, these diagrams from Dogon tradition show that the Nommo water-spirit taught Advanced Astronomical Knowledge to the Dogons' ancestors, e.g. about the four main moons of Jupiter.* Therefore Nommo was the same as the Sumerian Oannes, and therefore the Dogons originally lived in Mesopotamia (later choosing to migrate from there to the neighbourhood of Timbucktoo in search of lower tax rates or something).

To my mind, he does not give sufficient shrift to the theory that they are actually iridology diagrams, and that the Nommo was trying to explain the basic principles of naturopathy. Or they could simply be an early version of Goatse.**

* Dogon tribespeople themselves reject any wisdom-imparting role for this Nommo folklore figure, but what do they know about their culture? Who are you going to believe -- tribal informants, or one enthusiastic anthropologist from the 1940s?? Or New-age crystal explanations that the six-fold split of the original Nommo is an expression of the 12-stranded nature of human DNA?

** The rationale behind iridology is that (a) the left and right human irides are easily examined, and (b) they must have zones reflecting the condition of every bodily organ (the hermetic principle of "as above, so below") because they are circular -- oooh mandala symbolism! See here for iridology in New Zealand.

My colleague Michelle noted a while ago that there is one other muscle in the body with the same key pair of properties. However, her attempts to introduce 'Anusology' to the armamentarium of naturopathy has not met with the success she had hoped for.

16 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I hope fish appreciates all the halp he's been getting.
~

mikey said...

Y'know, I really appreciate the little down-home touches Smut often provides his otherwise dense, pedantic educational writings.

Doggone Folklore, indeed.

Thank you, sir. Carry on...

M. Bouffant said...

You think Smut takes Pedant-Enhancing Drugs?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Dogon. Dogoff...
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Smut Clyde said...

In training for the Competitive Explaining Voice semifinals at the Old Entomologist on Wednesday night.

Jennifer said...

Your gif needs some Pamprin.

Jennifer said...

Also, I'm sure this has been said before, but that new header makes me want to take a flying fuck.

Smut Clyde said...

Have you had enough coffee yet Jennifer?

Jennifer said...

Nevah!

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

The Riddled Time Machine has brought back the first film clips of two aliens from a planet in the double- or triple-star Sirius system who came to Mesopotamia 7000 years ago.

What poppycock! It totally leaves Mu out of the equation!

You think Smut takes Pedant-Enhancing Drugs?

I think Smut is a Pedant-Enhancing Drug.

Another Kiwi said...

The new header is STARS IN CIRCLES!! And I did not know about Smut's egregious attack on the made up culture of the blind goatherd chap.

Dogon. Dogoff. can't explain that, no miscommunication there.

Another Kiwi said...

Also: Finnies carrying a handbag and brandishing bus tickets? Some sort of political statement about underwater public transport? Fishgod don't care about your walk to town, bud.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

He learned it from watching you!
~

Another Kiwi said...

Do as I say, not as I do.
Do be do be do

Another Kiwi said...

Also Mrs. Cat is VERY interested in fishgods called Nommo. NOM NOM

Substance McGravitas said...

Or perhaps they are a pair of 'finnies' who like to dress up in fish costumes and get their kink on

FINGER ON THE SCALES.