How it started

How it's going

Glia: the existential philosophers of the brain

https://cell.com/cell/fulltext/S0092-8674(19)30621-X

Just in Fish, though.

To globalisation! The cause of... and solution to... all of life's problems

A pair of clever mycologists are discovering new species of Boletus without venturing farther than their supermarket. All thanks to Market Forces, and DNA sequencing technology, and life-style aspirations signified by up-market culinary ingredients, and the willingness of corporate supply-chains to outsource everything to the cheapest origin - which in the case of dried mushroom packets, was forest foragers in China.

So the contents of the packets were not Boletus edulis stricto sensu as claimed, but previously-undocumented varieties (though if there is any shortcoming in flavour, it misses the attention of most customers). Even in feckin Italy, Asian mock-porcini outsells real porcini:

Porcini are estimated to have an annual worldwide consumption up to 100,000 metric tons (Hall et al., 1998). However, their harvest is restricted to wild foraging since, to date, their cultivation has failed. The high prices for this wild food foraged locally in Europe and North America has driven the market towards less costly sources, such as China (Sitta & Floriani, 2008). According to the official website of Yunnan Province (www.yunnan.cn), the major exporter of wild mushrooms in China, locally-sourced porcini have been exported to Europe since 1973, and mushrooms of Chinese origin now account for approximately half of all dried porcini in Italy (Sitta & Floriani, 2008). The Chinese species of porcini have been shown previously to be more closely related to European Boletus aereus than they are to the core commercial species, B. edulis

An analogy could be drawn between fungal mycelia and human trade routes, though I am not the first to draw it.

Figure 2: Experimental setup. Globe covered with agar gel is colonised by slime mould P. polycephalum. Oat flakes represent areas of U.

This opens up new vistas and prospects in the exploration of biodiversity. Here at the Riddled Institute of Dumpster Foraging we are industriously DNA-sequencing packets of imported surimi to identify new species of deep-sea angler-fish and giant squid.

We also await the descriptions of previously- and subsequently-unknown sub-species of orangutan, from DNA found in Indonesian-sourced PKE (palm-kernel-extract) dairy fodder.

Goats, goats, got no goats And stitches don't help at all

New Zealanders are no longer passive consumers of other countries' news. Lately they have been producing all the best news themselves!



1. At the end of last year, a Scary Sea Alien found on Rakaia Huts beach appeared in headlines around the world UK tabloids, although many of them were along the lines of 'HA HA HA just look at these numpties'.



Alas, panic sparked = 0. No actual human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, or even mass hysteria. Great was the disappoint.

Goat being stressed

2. Alternative title:

Left to die by two good friends

Tears of god flow as I bleed

Then there was the goatcitement of the tug-of-love over Zeus. Zeus the poorly goat was either abducted from a loving owner's life-style block, or rescued by a passer-by, concerned by his moribund condition and apparent abandonment, who had not considered the possibility that he was being stressed to increase his rate of Vitamin-C secretion. NZ media woefully neglected the opportunity for "kidnapped" jokes. After nursing him back from moribundance, Zeus' rescuer relinquished him to the SPCA. When last heard of, she was locked in debate with the loving owner as to whose moral claim to his custody was greater.

The dispute calls out for a Solomonic judgement. Ideally ending in goat curry.

3. Invasive wallabies. Feckin wallabies should just feck right off and feck back to where they feckin came from.

4. A large bronze gnome was stolen from outside an Auckland art gallery, in a daring Christmas-eve-midnight heist that was noticed and reported to police three weeks later. The artist, Gregor Kregar (friend of Riddled), is reportedly feeling gnomesick. Police are describing the actions of the visibility-vested robbers as 'brazen'.

Anyone seeing a two-metre bronze gnome posing for photographs to be posted home from tourist attractions and landmarks around Europe should contact the New Zealand authorities.

My new hobby:

Collecting photographs of Lizard-fish swallowing other fish.

Go home, underwater photographers, you are drunk and obsessive.

Derp Frog just can't be arsed.

Still working through the backlog of irritating mockademic-journal spam

Rajesh Varma -- the egregious fuckknuckle who came up with the respect-inspiring title "PeerTechz" when he leapt aboard the parasitic-publishing band-wagon juggernaut -- is evidently making so little money from the scam that he cannot afford last names for his "Managing Editor" sockpuppets. Leaving them to languish in initial-letter anonymity.

Juggernaut Clown-car

From: Peertechz Journal of Bioinformatics and Biostatistics [mailto:editor.pjbb@ptjmail.com]
Sent: Friday, July 21, 2017 2:42 AM
Subject: Publish your valuable work with us: PJBB

Dear Dr.,

Hope this mail finds you in good spirits.

We are pleased to inform you that Peertechz Journal of Bioinformatics and Biostatistics is under the process of accepting articles from the experts like you for Upcoming Issue.

We will be grateful if you submit a paper for the upcoming issue, the submission due date for the article is 04^th August 2017.

Kindly submit your manuscript to our editorial office mail.bioinformatics@peertechz.com    

We request you to let us know your possibility of submitting an article.

Best Regards,

Nirmal Y

Journal Managing Editor

Editorial Office: #202, NVS Central, Hi-tech City

R.R District, Hyderabad-500018, TS, India

Tel: +91 40 23833479

Email: mail(dot)bioinformatics(at)peertechz(dot)com;

biostatistics(dot)peertechz(at)gmail(dot)com

Please Note: If this journal is not related to your expertise, please notify us. If you do not want to hear from us please unsubscribe

--------------------------------------------

Expert in the field

By "Experts like me" as contributors, I guess he means "unqualified and uninterested outsiders". But at least he has stopped pretending that "this spam message n'est pas une spam message", as featured in previous endeavours.

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From: Journal of Novel Physiotherapy and Physical Rehabilitation [mailto:editor.jnppr@ptjonline.com]
Sent: Friday, July 07, 2017 10:02 PM
Subject: Your manuscript on Novel Physiotherapy is of immense value: JNPPR

Hello Dr.,

Hope this letter finds you in good spirits and in epic of your researching endeavours.

I am Vishwa A from Journals Handling Department of Journal of Novel Physiotherapy and Physical Rehabilitation (ISSN: 2455-5487).

The aim of the Journal is to publish scientific research knowledge and works of eminent scholars in order to assist further researches.

We request you to send your valuable works on or before 18^th July, 2017 on the following mail-ID: mail.rehabilitation@peertechz.com or for online submission system, click Submit Paper.

If it is not possible to submit by the last date, then please let us know your tentative date of manuscript submission.

It will be a great pleasure to publish your works with us. We look forward to get a positive response from you.

Best Regards,

Vishwa A

Journal Managing Editor

Editorial Office: #202, NVS Central, Hi-tech City,

R.R District, Hyderabad-500018, TS, India

Tel: +91 40 23833479

Email: mail(dot)rehabilitation(at)peertechz(dot)com;

rehabilitation(dot)peertechz(at)gmail(dot)com 

Please Note: If this journal is not related to your expertise, please notify us. If you do not want to hear from us please unsubscribe

---------------------------------------------------

Does "Novel physiotherapy" mean "physiotherapy involving works of fiction", or "works of fiction about physiotherapy"? If the former, my copy of "Joseph and his Brothers" probably weighs enough to use in a cardiovascular exercise program. If the latter, I shall have to borrow Another Kiwi's dog-eared six-volume illustrated edition of "Adventures of Nina the Naughty Masseuse".

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From: Annals of Alzheimers and Dementia Care [mailto:editor.aadc@ptjmail.net]
Sent: Friday, June 02, 2017 10:19 PM
Subject: Join hands with prompt publishing services: AADC

Peertechz Publications Private Limited

Hello Dr.,

Annals of Alzheimer's and Dementia Care provides an optimized knowledge to scientific community and to promote qualitative research publications.

The journal is inviting you to submit your research works on Alzheimer's and related disciplines for the upcoming issue.

Interested in publishing your valuable works? Send it within 3 days on following mail-ID: mail.alzheimers@peertechz.com or for online submission system, click Submit Paper

Your manuscript will be published without publication fees if you send it within stipulated timeframe of 3 days. You will have to bear only nominal service charges at the time of final publication.

We look forward to publish your valuable works.

All the best for your ongoing research!

Best regards,

Hardev B

Journal Managing Editor

Editorial Office: #202, NVS Central, Hi-tech City

R.R District, Hyderabad-500018, TS, India

Tel: +91 40 23833479

Email: alzheimersdementia(dot)peertechz(at)gmail(dot)com

Please Note: If this journal is not related to your expertise, please notify us. If you do not want to hear from us please unsubscribe

---------------------------------------------------

From: Journal of Clinical Research and Ophthalmology [mailto:editor.jcro@ptjmail.com]
Sent: Friday, February 24, 2017 1:11 AM
Subject: We value your hard work: JCRO

Reference No: GENT003

Dear Dr.,

Journal of Clinical Research and Ophthalmology (ISSN: 2455-1414) wishes you success and prosperity throughout the Year 2017.

The journal takes an opportunity to gauge the goal of ethical publishing and invite you to send your articles for the upcoming issue.

Topics to be covered: Gastric Cancer; Stomach Diseases; Colorectal Cancer; Nonalcoholic Fatty Liver Disease; Paediatric IBD; IBD Causes and Symptoms; IBD & Cancer; IBD & Pregnancy; IBD Treatment; Stomach Diseases; Primary Biliary Cirrhosis; Neuroendocrine tumor; Irritable Bowel Syndrome; Upper GI Complaints etc..

You are hereby requested not to reply on the sender E-Mail ID.

Please reply to this mail on following mail-ID: mail.ophthalmology@peertechz.com or Submit Paper (for paper submission)

Moreover, raise standards of scientific research worldwide, we have come up with membership programme. For further details, please visit:

https://www.peertechz.com/membership

Your contribution towards the journal will certainly enhance its visibility and impact thereby increasing the value of online publishing.

Please specify the ‘Reference Number’ of the letter in future communications.

Best regards,

Saurabh R

Journal Managing Editor

Editorial Office

Tel: +91 40 23833479,

Email: mail.ophthalmology@peertechz.com ; ophthalmology1.peertechz@gmail.com

#202, NVS Central, Hi-tech City, R.R District, Hyderabad-500018, TS, India.

Note: If this journal is not related to your expertise, please notify us. If you do not want to hear from us please unsubscribe

---------------------------------------------------

Rajesh has a business style which relies on community shareware and begging for free advice in preference to reading the manual. Other plaudits for his obsequious incompetence come from PhytoBotanist, Nigel Armfield, and FlakyJ.

The illiterate cockwomble at "ScientificFederation" [i.e. Reddy Sekhar] is a different kettle of red herrings flock of Spambirds. He deals with the unaffordable price of surnames by composing his Assistant Scientific Editor sockpuppets from two first names.

From: SciFed Nursing & Healthcare Journal [mailto:editorial.sfnhj@scifed.com]
Sent: Friday, July 07, 2017 3:47 AM
Subject: Call for Papers-Nursing & Healthcare

Dear Dr.,

Greetings from SciFed.

SciFed Nursing & Healthcare Journal would like to invite you to publish your recent research on Nursing & Healthcare for the inaugural issue. SciFed Nursing & Healthcare Journal has been established with the help of honorable editorial team from all over the world. Our main aim is to disseminate the high quality articles to the scientific world with minimal price barriers and to climb up the ladder of impact factor.

It would be great if you could submit article so that we could process it for the Upcoming Inaugural Issue. SciFed Nursing & Healthcare Journal accepts articles in the form of Research Articles/Review Articles/Case Reports/Short Communications etc.

If your current research is suitable for SciFed Nursing & Healthcare Journal, kindly click here to submit your manuscript through online.

Kindly avail this opportunity to share your scientific excellences and be a part of our esteemed organization.

We will be glad to assist you, if you have any concerns

Have a nice and healthy day ahead.

Best Regards,

Alexander Isaac
Assistant Scientific Editor
E:editorial.sfnhj@scifed.com

T: +91-779-979-0002

You are subscribed to Scientific Federation as XXX. If you do not wish to receive any further communications, please click here.

-----------------------------------------------------------

From: SciFed Journal of Neuroscience [mailto:editorial.sfjn@scifed.com]
Sent: Friday, July 07, 2017 3:32 AM
Subject: Call for Papers-Neuroscience

Dear Dr.,

Greetings from SciFed.

SciFed Journal of Neuroscience would like to invite you to publish your recent research on Neuroscience for the inaugural issue. SciFed Journal of Neuroscience has been established with the help of honorable editorial team from all over the world. Our main aim is to disseminate the high quality articles to the scientific world with minimal price barriers and to climb up the ladder of impact factor.

It would be great if you could submit article so that we could process it for the Upcoming Inaugural Issue. SciFed Journal of Neuroscience accepts articles in the form of Research Articles/Review Articles/Case Reports/Short Communications etc.

If your current research is suitable for SciFed Journal of Neuroscience, kindly click here to submit your manuscript through online.

Kindly avail this opportunity to share your scientific excellences and be a part of our esteemed organization.

We will be glad to assist you, if you have any concerns

Have a nice and healthy day ahead.

Best Regards,

Ivan Connor
Assistant Scientific Editor
E: editorial.sfjn@scifed.com
T: +91-779-979-0002

You are subscribed to Scientific Federation as XXX. If you do not wish to receive any further communications, please click here.

--------------------------------------------------

Also Henry Nicholas, Jean Paul, Samantha Lauren, Emilia Michelle, et cetera. The predictable result has been to create a dispossessed underclass or Dumpenproletariat of SciFed Assistant-Scientific-Editor sockpuppets who have LinkedIn accounts but no actual names at all.

I was not previously aware of my expertise in the closely-associated fields of nursing and neuroscience, or even nurseroscience as it may be [h/t Fish].

These are the first signs of sonic attackYou will notice small objects such as ornaments oscillatingYou will notice vibrations in your diaphragmThere will be bleeding from orificesThere will be an ache in the pelvic regionYou may be subject to fits of hysterical shouting or even laughter

The last time the Riddled Journal Club looked at Drs Klinghardt and Ruggiero's article-shaped claim-stake, carving out their territory within the Chronic Lyme Disease goldfield, it was Shooting-Fish-inna-Barrel night at the Old Entomologist.

Company logo: synchronised-swimming sperm

So the pointing & laughing was focused on the scammy, spammy nature of the "Science Publications" who extrude the 'American Journal of Immunology' [editors include M. Ruggiero] from their base in the United Arab Emirates.¹ Some secondary hilarity ensued from Klinghardt's method for diagnosing otherwise-undetectable occult Lyme Disease, i.e. by dowsing. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP... dowsing was rebranded as Applied Kinesiology in the 1960s, before Klinghardt -- who never saw a grift he didn't want to copy -- appropriated it as "Autonomic Response Testing".

Fish-inna-Barrel Tuesdays are not actually as much fun as they sound, because sometimes the fish shoot back if the vile Throgmorton happened to have stocked the barrels with archerfish. Of course similar problems arise on Picking-the-Low-Fruit Wednesdays when the fruit trees fail to cooperate.

Anyways... it was inevitable that hand-held ultrasound scanners would find a place as a theatrical prop in the advertisement for the RK Protocol, for they are a recurring feature in Ruggiero's artistic practice theragnostic cosplay. We have previously seen his discoveries that the humble scanner can diagnose autism (recording brain abnormalities that remain unnoticed by autism researchers, those purblind fools), and can facilitate snake-oil treatment of brain cancer, by relaxing epithelial-cell junctions to make brain capillaries leaky and let the snake-oil through. After hours his students and assistants brandish the scanners while they chase one another around the laboratory making Pew-pew-pew noises.

So this is the new breakthrough. It is a tenet of faith in alt-med circles that the wriggly little Borrelia burgdorferi spirochaetes of Lyme Disease like to sequester themselves within the cells of your tissues in Double Secret Probation -- inert, unnoticed by the immune system, therefore undetectable by the usual tests of antibodies or even DNA. But an internal ultrasonic caress will rark the little buggers up in the manner of earthworm grunting, driving them out from the cells to renew their rampage and undergo detection.

It is not entirely clear how the ultrasounds -- with a millimeter wavelength -- can interact with structure at the subcellular scale of microns, with such dramatic and preferential effect. And given the scanner's biological impact, one wonders at its blithe and cavalier use as a harmless diagnostic tool; it is almost as if Ruggiero is not in fact stupid enough to believe in its brain-melting, spirochaete-rousing pluripotency. But we recently saw a 1970s documentary in which ultrasound irradiation of the soil, meant for pesticidal purposes, had the unexpected side-effect of transforming the previously-peaceful occupants of Manchester Morgue into reanimated shamblers with an antisocial hunger. Perhaps a similar phenomenon is at work.

Below: Effects of scanner over-use

The RK Protocol continues with PCR testing of each customer's urine sample, to confirm the post-ultrasonification appearance of DNA from the previously-dowsed spirochaete. This task of bringing reality into conformity with the results of Klinghardt's ART-woo is outsourced to “DNA Connexions”, a Colorado Springs centre of proprietory state-of-the-aunt DNA-detection procedures. Owned by Dr. Blanche Grube, with a Dr. Christopher Shade as Lab Director. Grube also trades as Biocomp Laboratories at the same strip-mall address, where she purveys a

“blood serum procedure […] Biocompatibility test, a comprehensive report that simply states whether the dental materials are Highly Reactive, Moderately Reactive, or Least Reactive.”

She is further said to operate a dental clinic -- catering for clients who cannot tell the difference between a dental bridge and the one in Brooklyn -- where they can have their fillings replaced in the unlikely event that they are dangerously Reactive. Meanwhile Shade’s primary income stream is “Quicksilver Scientific”, part of the ecosystem of Mercury Detection clinics... there he sells mercury testing (plus the usual scammocopoeia of supplements, plus Hemp Oil), and commends clients to Grube’s dentistry if their amalgams prove to be leaching the naughty element into their bloodstreams. Sounds legit!

It may be that Klinghardt is merely hewing to the code of Professional Courtesy when he shares access to the suckers' wallets as widely as possible. He and DNA Connexions regularly appear as a double-act at Chronic Lyme scam-fests trade-fairs, but this does not establish that they have a mutually-beneficial business arrangement.

The paper says little about how to cure Chronic Lyme disease once it is diagnosed. The authors note, however, that Ruggiero's current nostrum "Rerum" showed therapeutic promise when used as a "positive control". As tested by dowsing. I am not making this up.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. According to Ruggiero's erstwhile business partner David Noakes, writing anonymously at one of several hating books vanity websites devoted to score-settling,

There is nothing predatory about The American Journal of Immunology, and the journal would be insulted to read that.

I'll take that risk.
Of course Noakes would say that.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

With Chronic Lyme Disease it is difficult to know where to stop with the Updatage and the Out-takage. That is the trouble with esprit d'escalier... a single glass is never enough. I don't know whose idea it was to ferment and distill an Escalier, but if the consequent hangover is any guide, the idea was not a good one.

Anyway, this is as good a time as any to remember “Nordic Laboratories”, who pimp spurious blood tests for UK numpties who already know what they want to have and will pay good money for validation. Despite the Scandiwegian stylings of austere efficiency and rectitude, “Nordic Labs” are in fact one of several grifts run by an alt-health supplements-&-vitamins pill-mill in Sussex, while their Copenhagen address turns out to be a mail-forwarding service [upstairs from the amber shop and the Shanghai Chinese Restaurant].

The boss of the outfit gloated about the determination of his customer base of desperate griefers, how they go on shopping for tests until they find someone who will validate their self-diagnosis:

Chris Moore, Managing Director of Nordic Laboratories, ascertained very quickly that of the 100 or so patients in the room, only around one-fifth had actually received a positive laboratory test. Yet these patients are living in the tatters of lives torn apart by the symptoms of Borrelia infection and all of them had to seek (and fund) their own treatment because nothing is available on the NHS. He made the point that times have changed. Patients are now very informed and know a lot about their own health and are looking to their doctors for support, not dismissal.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nor should we forget the egregious Sin Hang Lee, who was pimping a magical PCR DNA test for Chronic Lyme before he branched into “detecting DNA in Gardasil” as a secondary income stream. So a few years ago a totally grass-roots organisation sprang into being, the Coalition Against Lyme and Related Borrelioses (CALRB), for the purpose of

hosting a symposium on September 16, 2014 at the State Capitol building in Hartford, Conn., to discuss new scientific approaches to Lyme disease testing and diagnosis.

A more accurate formulation might be that CALRB existed to bombard the Massachusetts legislature with press releases, themed around the need for more recognition of and funding for Lyme disease... and the need for more widespread use of PCR techniques to detect the elusive spirochaetes... specifically, Sin Hang Lee’s test.

Its job complete, CALRB vanished back into the quantum fluctuations from whence it came. Great was the surprise, then, when the President and executive director of CALRB (one Kevin Moore) also turned out to fill the role of “Media Relations Director for Milford Molecular Diagnostics Laboratory”… which is to say. he’s Lee’s press agent. While the domain for the now-vanished CALRB website had been registered by Jessica Vigliotti, Lee’s lab employee, and co-author on his mockademic publications.

There is something simultaneously impressive and depressing about the shamelessness of these people, and the lack of effort they put into hiding their trail of slime.

Clothing-optional day at the Old Entomologist

In retrospect, possibly not as good an idea as it seemed at the time.
I blame the fish. They were drugged or something.

Bohemian Rhapsody, part III

In this installment our hero encounters the horrors of English cuisine, and seeks employment in the service sector. Soon to be a block-buster production from the Riddled Amateur Dramatic Society!

If Jan Váňa were updating his Nový Kapesní Slovník for contemporary conditions he would include a translation do češtiny of "Feckin Eastern Euros comin here and stealin ah jobs".

Lost Lake

I found it! Is there a reward?

I guess the authorities are not too worried about its precise location because they have built a barrier further up the river, so they know it can't wander very far.

 

Oh gentlemen, with your fish That you surround, all around

Tigris wondered what had happened to the Riddled goldfish Delilah and Sigismund, during her absence from the office to attend the VII^th Annual Developments in Advanced Meeting Protocol conference in Milan.

S. Clyde esq. ventured his opinion that they had been influenced by morphogenetic leakage from the library collection of unrealised Max Beckmann prints, causing them to adopt a more stylised appearance. He was loath to speculate why they were covered all over with Waikato Draught beer-caps.

Another Kiwi pointed out that the library pixies had recruited Sigismund and Delilah to star in the nautical spectacle of a regatta nature that they regularly stage in the courtyard fountain, and no-one cares to gainsay the requests of the library pixies, for fear of minor errors creeping in to the fourth digit of the Dewey classification of Miss Busty Monthly (making it impossible to find certain issues). Spending time in the company of those sportive wee scamps is known to have corrosive effects on the piscine personality and to lead to slight flaws in the character. He surmised that the goldfish might have applied the beer-bottle caps to themselves, with the intention of raising circular welts, which they could ascribe to sucker marks from a giant squid attack, in an attempt to garner sympathy.

S. Clyde wondered whether a nautical spectacle, the first time it occurred, was just a gatta.

The meeting was adjourned when Evangeline van Holsterin (head barmaid of the Old Entomologist) proclaimed that the hand-pump was now pouring the Miraculous Draught of Fishes.