Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Breams of the Sea-rabbit Fiend

Alternative title: Do androids bream of electric eels?
Another Kiwi took a long weekend off to go up north and see his Auntie Grizelda. It is a fraught journey through the wilderness where the pampas grass is rife, where the paths are often blocked at both ends by scrolls of stylised acanthus, which is why he is wearing the fancy hover-shoes. Also available in pony size.

But did AK say "Don't cook and eat the fish fillets in the reagent freezer for lunch, the ones labelled 'Biological Specimens K. bigibbus -- Toxic -- Protocol IV Containment"? DID HE BOGROLL.

Symptoms of Ichthyoallyeinotoxism include levitation, Zorbing, the opening of portals into alternative realities, and the dissociative manifestation of multiple personalities, all called Lucy.* Let us just say that not a great deal of work was accomplished in the course of Friday afternoon.

Here in the Antipodean Ocean, the brown chub Kyphosus bigibbus from Norfolk Island is the most popular dreamfish, but in Podean parts the sea bream Sarpa salpa and various species of the Sea-rabbit genus Siganidae are probably more often encountered.

The psychedelic properties evolved as a form of camouflage, like the texture-matching capability of flatfish, allowing dreamfish to conceal themselves in the waters that are under the world, among the shifting evanescent flux of archetypes in the human unconsciousness. Much in the manner of Klee goldfish.

There is a novel waiting to be written about the rigours and drama and loneliness of life as a dreamfisherman, following the shoals across the trackness ocean, far from land for months on end. No, Involution Ocean does not count. As for American reality-TV shows, DO NOT WANT.

Accurate depiction of Dream Machine
But dreamfish are not immune to their own hallucinatory toxins. With the help of the Riddled dream machine we can view their own dreams.

These turn out to be wish fulfillment in nature -- a role-reversed scenario in which dreamfish sink and consume entire fishing flotillas and celebrate these victories with ships tattooed on their sides. Meanwhile modelling their grimace on that of Dick Cheney.

Also they fantasise of chasing Ann Althouse.
* An ambulance was dispatched to the consequent scene, where the crew compared the situation to "a Lucy nation".


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

where the crew compared the situation to "a Lucy nation"

Sir! The internet is already full of bad puns, Sir!

mistah charley, ph.d. said...

Perhaps you have heard of the Medium Lobster, who formerly posted at Fafblog!

“The Medium Lobster is a higher being from beyond the boundaries of space and time. From his perch atop ethereal dimensions whose heights defy mortal comprehension, all of reality as you know it is laid out before him like so many ants at a summer picnic. To your limited perception, he appears to be an ordinary lobster, neither especially large nor particularly small. To your limited perception.”

tigris said...

O damnable injustice, all we've got is ciguatera.

Smut Clyde said...

True story -- I once had a freezer-full of dreamfish at Maison d'Etre, which a friend had brought back from Norfolk Island (this was two decades ago before biosecurity regulations). They were destined for the marine biologists to examine so I did not secretly cook them and replace them with red cod because SCIENCE.
Finish that goddamn monograph, John!

rhwombat said...

Bloody Hell! What do they do if they catch her?

H. Rumbold, Master Barber said...

Eddison is one of my all-time favorites.

fish said...

Do android fish dream of electric eels?

fish said...

I have had the Althouse dream.

Smut Clyde said...

There's your angled dream, fish, and ripe enough for the Luxor dream.

Emma said...

Oh no! I missed it. I missed it!

I was being festive in analog time, or maybe sitting on the bathroom floor trying not talk myself out of barfing. I can’t remember, the 16th was a long time ago.