Bis Hip-hop in a Tutu

This year when we decorated the chocolate bunnies IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY we followed a Ballerina theme (because lazy & uninspired).


They are ready for a production of Swan Lagomorph.

Worst Ray Harryhausen stop-action movie EVAH

[source]

I would still pay many quatloos to watch it.

Did anyone laugh?

DID THEY BOGROLL.

Metäl Hõrns: DÕIN IT RÕNG

He could be saying "ILY" in American Sign, but there are probably not many ASL-signing Deaf in the audience.

UPDATE: This other chorister is clearer on the concept.

Very deep is the well of the past barrel of low-life junk-science grifting. Should we not call it bottomless?

OUTTAKE²: The Updating.

Here at the Riddled Research Laboratory and Reverse Sausage Manufactory we are feeling popular and very truly run after. For it is not only "Anna" at Alliance Star who acquired a copy of a conference program and is now offering to publish our presentation from it while promising to love us long time. For the same conference program has come to the attention of "Maydim Malkov" at an International Journal, who is also bidding for that same presentation!

Closer examination reveals that "Journalofbioscience.org" and "journaloflanguage.org" are socktoplasmic excrescences of legendary Chinese spammers "Science Publishing Group". Maydim Malkov is a real person who made the mistake of submitting a paper for another of their journal-shaped garbage chutes, and in the manner of an Alzabo they have stolen his/her identity.

From: Maydim Malkov [mailto:submission@journalbioscience.org]
Sent: Tuesday, August 01, 2017 12:49 AM
To: $AUTHOR
Subject: To $AUTHOR: Invitation for Paper Publication from International Journal of Language and Linguistics

International Journal of Language and Linguistics (ISSN Print: 2330-0205, Online: 2330-0221)
http://www.journaloflanguage.org
Current Issue: Vol.5, No.3, 2017

Dear $AUTHOR,

Greetings from the editorial office of International Journal of Language and Linguistics (ISSN: 2330-0205), an Open Access journal which publishes original research papers.

We get to know your paper titled $TITLE from International Cognitive Linguistics Conference:Linguistic Diversity and Cognitive Linguistics, and your topic is so much impressive.

We hope to publish this interesting paper in our journal. Would you like to share your papers with other scholars in this field? If you have any interest, please feel free to email us your paper manuscript in the attachment at any of your convenience.

Meanwhile, to enhance the academic communication between scholars, we are seeking professionals to join our Editorial Board or reviewer team. If you are interested, you are encouraged to send your Resume to us.

International Journal of Language and Linguistics

Subject Coverage

Philology, Historical linguistics, History of language, Communication, Professional discourse, Language and globalization, German language, Psycholinguistics, Introductory textbooks, Language education & teaching, Research methods, Syntax, Language and law, Applied linguistics , Comparative linguistics, Discourse analysis, Descriptive linguistics , Language and gender, English language, Second language learning, etc.

Journal Indexing

ResearchBib, CNKI SCHOLAR, JournalSeek, Academickeys, CrossRef, EZB, Zeitschriftendatenbank, MIAR, etc.

We are looking forward to a fruitful cooperation with you.

Best Regards,
Editorial Office of International Journal of Language and Linguistics

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Somehow the title 'AcadeMickeys' for a journal-indexing service does not bestow the intended sense of credibility.

This whole genre of post-conference solicitation has inspired serious academic reports, devoted to the off-putting uncanny-valley nature of the names and language it features. One shudders to think of the meta-solicitation spam inundating the authors of those presentations, once the spammers find their addresses.

But wait, a challenger appears! The lovable American Chinese scallywags at David Publishing have scraped or purchased the same list of conference attendees, and here's 'Betty Hinshaw' with a slightly belated solicitation!

From: linguist@davidpublishing.com [mailto:linguist@davidpublishing.com]
Sent: Monday, July 31, 2017 7:45 PM
To: $AUTHOR
Subject: Special Issue on Cognitive Linguistics

  

       

         US-China Foreign Language              Sino-US English Teaching         

                         DOI: 10.17265/1539-8080                                                         DOI: 10.17265/1539-8072                       

ISSN 1539-8080 (Print)                                                                 ISSN 1539-8072 (Print)

    ISSN 1935-9667 (Online)                                                                 ISSN 1935-9675 (Online)

              

                                          

Call for Papers or Books              

Dear  $AUTHOR

These are US-China Foreign Language and Sino-US English Teaching, the professional journals published across the United States by David Publishing Company, Chicago, IL, USA. We have learnt the abstract

named:  $TITLE at“International Cognitive Linguistics Conference: Linguistic Diversity and Cognitive Linguistics (ICLC 14)”. We are very interested in your research field. If the paper mentioned has not been published in other journals and you have the idea of making our journal as a vehicle for your research interests, please send us the English version of your paper in MS word format. And if the paper has been published, all your other original and unpublished papers are also welcome.

As an American academic publishing group, we want to invite some people to be our reviewers or become our editorial board members. If you are interested in our journal, please send us your CV.

Should you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact us. Thank you for your reply.

Best regards,

Betty Hinshaw

Editorial Office

US-China Foreign Language, ISSN1539-8080, USA

Sino-US English Teaching, ISSN1539-8072, USA

David Publishing Company

616 Corporate Way, Suite 2-4876, Valley Cottage, NY 10989, USA

E-mail: linguist@davidpublishing.org, us2003language@hotmail.com, linguist@davidpublishing.com

Tel: 1-323-9847526, 1-323-410-1082; Fax: 1-323-9847374, 1-323-9080457

Description

US-China Foreign Language and Sino-US English Teaching are monthly professional academic journals, are striving to provide the best platform for researchers and scholars worldwide to exchange their latest findings and results. There is an English version for our journals and your contribution to our journals would be very much welcome! Current columns involve Literary Criticism, Translation Studies, Linguistics Research, English Teaching, and Intercultural Studies, etc.

Publication Ethics and Malpractice

US-China Foreign Language and Sino-US English Teaching commit to uphold highest publication ethics and malpractice statements. All the authors submitting their works should sign our copy right agreement states our publication policy.

---------------------------------------------------------------

It is good to know that they uphold the highest standards of malpractice.

Great is the temptation to write to all three gangs of grifters to inform them of the competition, and let them fight among themselves. But I should probably wait to hear an offer from SCIRP -- a 4th Chinese band of puke-funnelling mockademic moochers.

Stalking Matilda, Stalking Matilda She took out a restraining order on me And I sang as I sat there Watching how the bunny boiled Who'll place a restraining order on me?

The Lazy-Arse Mockademic- Spam Blogging* will continue until morale improves:

"SciRes Literature" have ambition, a CamelCase name and a slogan and a logo stolen from student-debt-relief scammers, and they have recruited a White-House-worthy roster of Administrative Chiefs... including a jewelry designer, an Internet-Famous troll-blogger, and some person with an implausible hyphenated name.

If the last is young Sharlene of the Essex Carneys then it is good to see that she married into a better family than we could ever have expected.

Also a Rom-Com character as Chief Associate... it is tempting but also otiose to ask "Associate What?"

But they need to buck their ideas up if they want to expand out of the spare room of Apartment 121C... Can anyone see what they are doing wrong with these attempts to scrounge a paper about the Riddled Dream Machine out of us?

Anyone? Space-Time Eddie? No, Swearing Bob, you can put your hand down, the class is sufficiently familiar with your opinions and vocabulary. Stop flapping, Greenish Hugh, no-one is trying to force an opinion out of you, there is not enough gin in the First-Aid supplies for that. Ah, Louie Carthorse. Yes?

Louie is correct, to an extent... It is true that contrary to the tradition, the publishers were somehow unable to sign up Drs Blum or Badgaiyan onto the Editorial Boards of any of their journal-shaped toxic-waste dumps. But that is not a dispositive failing. Rather than tuft-hunting for recognised names, many parasitical publishers these days are recruiting their Editors and the organisers of their scamferences from the inhabitants of heavy planets, all flattened and squat by the high gravity of their home-worlds (with a few etoliated low-gravity visitors for the sake of diversity).

No... It is not enough to update the deadline in the annoying repetitive spam and spoof a new sending address (to evade simple domain-based spam blocking). That is where SciResLit stepped back on their own kumara. Best Industry Practice nowdays is to adopt a tone of increasingly passive-aggressive belligerence about the lack of response to previous harassment, working up towards a spammogram in which the image of a boiled bunny accompanies the title "LOOK WHAT YOU MADE US DO BY IGNORING US". Written in Comic Sans.

So here are "Stella Sun" (or Edith, or Eva, or Maggie) and "Dora Dong" (or Anne) and "Ms. Rikky Han", three poorly-disguised socktoplasmic pseudopods of the BIT travel-agency scampire. They have penciled me into their programs as Keynote Speaker and are more saddened than angered by the inconvenience I am causing with my inconsiderate failure to confirm.

Do ya feel guilty, punk?

In other restraining-order developments: the creepy surveillance strategy of "Academic Star" is not news. Along with fellow Chinese fraudsters "David Publishing", they have been claiming American nationality and offering friendship to the subjects of their scrutiny for over five years, acquiring the programs of (genuine) conferences for the purpose of stalking attendees. In that time they have not altered the wording of their spam... perhaps in the belief that We wish to become your friends if necessary is something that a human might write.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

From: jmer@academicstar.us [mailto:jmer@academicstar.us]
Sent: Monday, July 17, 2017 3:17 PM
Subject: Call for papers and Invitation from Journal of Modern Education Review (ISSN 2155-7993), USA ICLC 2017

Dear ,

This is Journal of Modern Education Review (ISSN 2155-7993), a professional journal published worldwide by Academic Star Publishing Company, New York, NY, USA. We have learned your paper 

"[REDACTED]" at 

14th International Cognitive Linguistics Conference. We are very interested to publish your paper in the Journal of Modern Education Review. If you have the idea of making our journal a vehicle for your research interests, please send the electronic version of your paper to us through email in MS word format. All your original and unpublished papers are welcome. 

Hope to keep in touch by email and publish some papers or books from you and your friends in USA. As an American academic publishing group, we wish to become your friends if necessary. We also want to invite some people to be our reviewers or become our editorial board members. If you are interested in our journal, you can send your CV to us. You can find our sample paper in the attachment. Expect to get your reply soon. 

Best regards,

Anna
Journal of Modern Education Review
Academic Star Publishing Company
education@academicstar.us, teaching@academicstar.us
228 East 45th Street,Ground Floor, #CN00000267 New York NY 10017 USA
TEL: 347-566-2153, 347-566-2247  Fax: 646-619-4168

---

jmer@academicstar.us

Stealing from Oglaf is an
old tradition among my people

From: psychology@davidpublishing.com [mailto:psychology@davidpublishing.com]
Sent: Friday, June 02, 2017 2:48 PM
Subject: Invitation from a New Journal, the sample of PSYCHOLOGY RESEARCH is attached

From Knowledge to Wisdom

Psychology Research

International Standard Serial Number: 2159-5542; and online ISSN: 2159-5550

Frequency: monthly   DOI: 10.17265/2159-5542

Dear Mr/Ms, 

We have learned your paper abstract [REDACTED](PSYART) on The 11th Annual International Conference on Psychology, and we are interested in its research. Therefore, we invite you to submit this paper  if it is not published or other unpublished papers in psychology area to Psychology Research.

The new journal of Psychology Research, a peer-reviewed, multidisciplinary periodicals published by David Publishing Company, USA, since July, 2011, welcomes the submission of original manuscripts reporting innovations or investigations in the Psychology area. Successful general submission manuscripts may report interdisciplinary efforts or be of a sufficiently broad nature to be of interest to those centered in related disciplines. Manuscripts reporting innovations or collaborations leading to enhancements in Psychology are of particular interest to Psychology Research.

If you have the idea of making our journals as vehicles for your research interests, please send your WORD format manuscripts (papers or books) through e-mails/submission system (for more details refer journal Web page). We appreciate your support.

We also seek researchers who have deep research in and outstanding contribution to Psychology area to be our reviewers/editors. Good review board has insightful understanding in Psychology field, and can provide professional suggestions to authors. Anyone who is interested in our journals can send us CV. We are looking forward to your contribution!

Sincerely yours,

Lily, R.

Editor Office

Psychology Research, ISSN 2159-5542

David Publishing Company

E-mail:psychology@davidpublishing.org; psychology@davidpublishing.com; 

 psychology2159@yahoo.com; and psychology@davidpublisher.net

Welcome to visit our Website at: 

Tel: 1-323-984-7526, 323-410-1082; Fax: 1-323-984-7374, 323-908-0457

Psychology Research

-------------------------------------------------------------------

So all the cool kids are contributing to the gaiety of nations by pwning the parasitical publishers with joke submissions; this costs nothing, and reassures prospective customers of these scholarly jizzrags that (Yes indeed) they will soak up anything, so everyone benefits. Some would say that "Breaking the ice with buxom grapefruits" and "Mitochondria" are no stupider than the material they publish without pwnish provocation --

With horsiness

Repot of Huge Primary Mediastinal Carcinoid Tumors with Horsiness

-- but I could not possibly comment. Anyway, your Riddled staff are feeling the peer-group pressure to get involved in the fun. Crowd-source the whole thing? Perhaps a conference presentation on "Somatotypes and the Editorial Personality: Adaptation to high- and low-gravity planets among parasitic conference organisers"? We are open to suggestions.

*

Parasite Conference OUTTAKE:
Until last year, 'Pulsus' was a niche publisher of Canadian specialist medical journals. But the proprietor wanted to retire, and in lieu of any other buyer he sold the concern to the OMICS griftdozer.

14th Annual

Pulsus was promptly gutted, re-stuffed and turned into a Conference Scam fuckpuppet, pimping dozens of freshly-minted mockademic pop-ups per month, such as the 22nd World Congress on Cognitive Behavioural Science and Therapy (there is no record of the earlier 21 prestigious congresses in the series). The same process of OMICS assimilation occurred to 'Allied Academies', previously a somewhat tawdry but obscure publisher, now a full-blast firehose of fraudulence with the same template of pox-parties that in terms of structure and content are unlikely to reach 1 on the Bristol Stool Scale.

These scabby little pop-ups often lack the frippery of a Program, which could be a sign of the new OMICS owners' need for the quick bucks, or it could be to save the attendees from the risk of being spammed by scamming chundermuffins. In fact, such is their haste, the grifters cannot even round up enough heavy-planet refugees to form Organising Committees.

Some of the people spending their own or their universities' dosh to attend these embarrassing events must be genuinely defrauded naïfs, but suckers alone would not provide enough of a money-stream to make the whole industry so attractive.

Still working through the backlog of irritating mockademic-journal spam

Rajesh Varma -- the egregious fuckknuckle who came up with the respect-inspiring title "PeerTechz" when he leapt aboard the parasitic-publishing band-wagon juggernaut -- is evidently making so little money from the scam that he cannot afford last names for his "Managing Editor" sockpuppets. Leaving them to languish in initial-letter anonymity.

Juggernaut Clown-car

From: Peertechz Journal of Bioinformatics and Biostatistics [mailto:editor.pjbb@ptjmail.com]
Sent: Friday, July 21, 2017 2:42 AM
Subject: Publish your valuable work with us: PJBB

Dear Dr.,

Hope this mail finds you in good spirits.

We are pleased to inform you that Peertechz Journal of Bioinformatics and Biostatistics is under the process of accepting articles from the experts like you for Upcoming Issue.

We will be grateful if you submit a paper for the upcoming issue, the submission due date for the article is 04^th August 2017.

Kindly submit your manuscript to our editorial office mail.bioinformatics@peertechz.com    

We request you to let us know your possibility of submitting an article.

Best Regards,

Nirmal Y

Journal Managing Editor

Editorial Office: #202, NVS Central, Hi-tech City

R.R District, Hyderabad-500018, TS, India

Tel: +91 40 23833479

Email: mail(dot)bioinformatics(at)peertechz(dot)com;

biostatistics(dot)peertechz(at)gmail(dot)com

Please Note: If this journal is not related to your expertise, please notify us. If you do not want to hear from us please unsubscribe

--------------------------------------------

Expert in the field

By "Experts like me" as contributors, I guess he means "unqualified and uninterested outsiders". But at least he has stopped pretending that "this spam message n'est pas une spam message", as featured in previous endeavours.

--------------------------------------------

From: Journal of Novel Physiotherapy and Physical Rehabilitation [mailto:editor.jnppr@ptjonline.com]
Sent: Friday, July 07, 2017 10:02 PM
Subject: Your manuscript on Novel Physiotherapy is of immense value: JNPPR

Hello Dr.,

Hope this letter finds you in good spirits and in epic of your researching endeavours.

I am Vishwa A from Journals Handling Department of Journal of Novel Physiotherapy and Physical Rehabilitation (ISSN: 2455-5487).

The aim of the Journal is to publish scientific research knowledge and works of eminent scholars in order to assist further researches.

We request you to send your valuable works on or before 18^th July, 2017 on the following mail-ID: mail.rehabilitation@peertechz.com or for online submission system, click Submit Paper.

If it is not possible to submit by the last date, then please let us know your tentative date of manuscript submission.

It will be a great pleasure to publish your works with us. We look forward to get a positive response from you.

Best Regards,

Vishwa A

Journal Managing Editor

Editorial Office: #202, NVS Central, Hi-tech City,

R.R District, Hyderabad-500018, TS, India

Tel: +91 40 23833479

Email: mail(dot)rehabilitation(at)peertechz(dot)com;

rehabilitation(dot)peertechz(at)gmail(dot)com 

Please Note: If this journal is not related to your expertise, please notify us. If you do not want to hear from us please unsubscribe

---------------------------------------------------

Does "Novel physiotherapy" mean "physiotherapy involving works of fiction", or "works of fiction about physiotherapy"? If the former, my copy of "Joseph and his Brothers" probably weighs enough to use in a cardiovascular exercise program. If the latter, I shall have to borrow Another Kiwi's dog-eared six-volume illustrated edition of "Adventures of Nina the Naughty Masseuse".

---------------------------------------------------

From: Annals of Alzheimers and Dementia Care [mailto:editor.aadc@ptjmail.net]
Sent: Friday, June 02, 2017 10:19 PM
Subject: Join hands with prompt publishing services: AADC

Peertechz Publications Private Limited

Hello Dr.,

Annals of Alzheimer's and Dementia Care provides an optimized knowledge to scientific community and to promote qualitative research publications.

The journal is inviting you to submit your research works on Alzheimer's and related disciplines for the upcoming issue.

Interested in publishing your valuable works? Send it within 3 days on following mail-ID: mail.alzheimers@peertechz.com or for online submission system, click Submit Paper

Your manuscript will be published without publication fees if you send it within stipulated timeframe of 3 days. You will have to bear only nominal service charges at the time of final publication.

We look forward to publish your valuable works.

All the best for your ongoing research!

Best regards,

Hardev B

Journal Managing Editor

Editorial Office: #202, NVS Central, Hi-tech City

R.R District, Hyderabad-500018, TS, India

Tel: +91 40 23833479

Email: alzheimersdementia(dot)peertechz(at)gmail(dot)com

Please Note: If this journal is not related to your expertise, please notify us. If you do not want to hear from us please unsubscribe

---------------------------------------------------

From: Journal of Clinical Research and Ophthalmology [mailto:editor.jcro@ptjmail.com]
Sent: Friday, February 24, 2017 1:11 AM
Subject: We value your hard work: JCRO

Reference No: GENT003

Dear Dr.,

Journal of Clinical Research and Ophthalmology (ISSN: 2455-1414) wishes you success and prosperity throughout the Year 2017.

The journal takes an opportunity to gauge the goal of ethical publishing and invite you to send your articles for the upcoming issue.

Topics to be covered: Gastric Cancer; Stomach Diseases; Colorectal Cancer; Nonalcoholic Fatty Liver Disease; Paediatric IBD; IBD Causes and Symptoms; IBD & Cancer; IBD & Pregnancy; IBD Treatment; Stomach Diseases; Primary Biliary Cirrhosis; Neuroendocrine tumor; Irritable Bowel Syndrome; Upper GI Complaints etc..

You are hereby requested not to reply on the sender E-Mail ID.

Please reply to this mail on following mail-ID: mail.ophthalmology@peertechz.com or Submit Paper (for paper submission)

Moreover, raise standards of scientific research worldwide, we have come up with membership programme. For further details, please visit:

https://www.peertechz.com/membership

Your contribution towards the journal will certainly enhance its visibility and impact thereby increasing the value of online publishing.

Please specify the ‘Reference Number’ of the letter in future communications.

Best regards,

Saurabh R

Journal Managing Editor

Editorial Office

Tel: +91 40 23833479,

Email: mail.ophthalmology@peertechz.com ; ophthalmology1.peertechz@gmail.com

#202, NVS Central, Hi-tech City, R.R District, Hyderabad-500018, TS, India.

Note: If this journal is not related to your expertise, please notify us. If you do not want to hear from us please unsubscribe

---------------------------------------------------

Rajesh has a business style which relies on community shareware and begging for free advice in preference to reading the manual. Other plaudits for his obsequious incompetence come from PhytoBotanist, Nigel Armfield, and FlakyJ.

The illiterate cockwomble at "ScientificFederation" [i.e. Reddy Sekhar] is a different kettle of red herrings flock of Spambirds. He deals with the unaffordable price of surnames by composing his Assistant Scientific Editor sockpuppets from two first names.

From: SciFed Nursing & Healthcare Journal [mailto:editorial.sfnhj@scifed.com]
Sent: Friday, July 07, 2017 3:47 AM
Subject: Call for Papers-Nursing & Healthcare

Dear Dr.,

Greetings from SciFed.

SciFed Nursing & Healthcare Journal would like to invite you to publish your recent research on Nursing & Healthcare for the inaugural issue. SciFed Nursing & Healthcare Journal has been established with the help of honorable editorial team from all over the world. Our main aim is to disseminate the high quality articles to the scientific world with minimal price barriers and to climb up the ladder of impact factor.

It would be great if you could submit article so that we could process it for the Upcoming Inaugural Issue. SciFed Nursing & Healthcare Journal accepts articles in the form of Research Articles/Review Articles/Case Reports/Short Communications etc.

If your current research is suitable for SciFed Nursing & Healthcare Journal, kindly click here to submit your manuscript through online.

Kindly avail this opportunity to share your scientific excellences and be a part of our esteemed organization.

We will be glad to assist you, if you have any concerns

Have a nice and healthy day ahead.

Best Regards,

Alexander Isaac
Assistant Scientific Editor
E:editorial.sfnhj@scifed.com

T: +91-779-979-0002

You are subscribed to Scientific Federation as XXX. If you do not wish to receive any further communications, please click here.

-----------------------------------------------------------

From: SciFed Journal of Neuroscience [mailto:editorial.sfjn@scifed.com]
Sent: Friday, July 07, 2017 3:32 AM
Subject: Call for Papers-Neuroscience

Dear Dr.,

Greetings from SciFed.

SciFed Journal of Neuroscience would like to invite you to publish your recent research on Neuroscience for the inaugural issue. SciFed Journal of Neuroscience has been established with the help of honorable editorial team from all over the world. Our main aim is to disseminate the high quality articles to the scientific world with minimal price barriers and to climb up the ladder of impact factor.

It would be great if you could submit article so that we could process it for the Upcoming Inaugural Issue. SciFed Journal of Neuroscience accepts articles in the form of Research Articles/Review Articles/Case Reports/Short Communications etc.

If your current research is suitable for SciFed Journal of Neuroscience, kindly click here to submit your manuscript through online.

Kindly avail this opportunity to share your scientific excellences and be a part of our esteemed organization.

We will be glad to assist you, if you have any concerns

Have a nice and healthy day ahead.

Best Regards,

Ivan Connor
Assistant Scientific Editor
E: editorial.sfjn@scifed.com
T: +91-779-979-0002

You are subscribed to Scientific Federation as XXX. If you do not wish to receive any further communications, please click here.

--------------------------------------------------

Also Henry Nicholas, Jean Paul, Samantha Lauren, Emilia Michelle, et cetera. The predictable result has been to create a dispossessed underclass or Dumpenproletariat of SciFed Assistant-Scientific-Editor sockpuppets who have LinkedIn accounts but no actual names at all.

I was not previously aware of my expertise in the closely-associated fields of nursing and neuroscience, or even nurseroscience as it may be [h/t Fish].