Pareidolia #3

Why are the tree-stumps shouting at me?

Hello, Vancouver City Council?

I would like to report a serious lack of googly eyes on your streetlight pedestals.

Invisible Saxophone

The Pattern in Amber

I had expected something slightly more dramatic.

Pareidolia #2

Why are these buildings shouting at me?

Pareidolia

Auckland International Airport.

Goats, goats, got no goats And stitches don't help at all

New Zealanders are no longer passive consumers of other countries' news. Lately they have been producing all the best news themselves!



1. At the end of last year, a Scary Sea Alien found on Rakaia Huts beach appeared in headlines around the world UK tabloids, although many of them were along the lines of 'HA HA HA just look at these numpties'.



Alas, panic sparked = 0. No actual human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, or even mass hysteria. Great was the disappoint.

Goat being stressed

2. Alternative title:

Left to die by two good friends

Tears of god flow as I bleed

Then there was the goatcitement of the tug-of-love over Zeus. Zeus the poorly goat was either abducted from a loving owner's life-style block, or rescued by a passer-by, concerned by his moribund condition and apparent abandonment, who had not considered the possibility that he was being stressed to increase his rate of Vitamin-C secretion. NZ media woefully neglected the opportunity for "kidnapped" jokes. After nursing him back from moribundance, Zeus' rescuer relinquished him to the SPCA. When last heard of, she was locked in debate with the loving owner as to whose moral claim to his custody was greater.

The dispute calls out for a Solomonic judgement. Ideally ending in goat curry.

3. Invasive wallabies. Feckin wallabies should just feck right off and feck back to where they feckin came from.

4. A large bronze gnome was stolen from outside an Auckland art gallery, in a daring Christmas-eve-midnight heist that was noticed and reported to police three weeks later. The artist, Gregor Kregar (friend of Riddled), is reportedly feeling gnomesick. Police are describing the actions of the visibility-vested robbers as 'brazen'.

Anyone seeing a two-metre bronze gnome posing for photographs to be posted home from tourist attractions and landmarks around Europe should contact the New Zealand authorities.

Signs

New Zealand roadsigns are weird. I think this one means "Plumber ahead", or "Watch out for faucets" or something.

Would it be very wrong to open a plumbing business called "Farrah Faucet-Majors"? Asking for a friend.

Do not want

You kids have gone too far with your novelty coffee flavours.

Also too, where do espresso-machine wranglers get off, calling themselves "barristas" like they are a kind of Roman siege catapult?

Behind the Scenes at the British Neues Museum

The Moustache Collection.

They can call it a collection of "Anthropomorphic Pendants" if they like, but these are the only traces that remain of some Bronze-Age society of Hercule Poirot cosplayers.

Googly eyes make everything better

Eyebombing taken to a new level.

Liverpuddle Scene: Stage set-up in progress

Just saying, roadies for a Spın̈al Tap Tribute Band have an easy job.

After graduating with this degree, you are entitled to sign MOFHL after your name

Alternative title: "Man Reading Aloud to a Turkey".

The map is not the territory

Can't post, due to travel & work & beer.

This is what happens when conceptual artists are invited to redesign street-maps.

House built on sand

Bunker struck amidships in the last torpedo salvo
Taking on sand and sinking fast
This is last transmission
God save the King

The wrong kind of bees

Inspired by Tony Fisher and his functioning Rubik Ice-Cube, here at Riddled Research Laboratory we are making good progress with our plan to create the first Rubik Cube constructed out of bee-hives. Like the freezy version, it will provide the hobbyist with strong incentive to solve it as quickly as possible

Staff retention remains a problem.

This exists

[Not my foteau; stolen from Jon @Flickr]

I can't find an Interwebs photograph of the shop sign in Putaruru that reads

CHEESE TASTING

COFFEE 

so you'll have to take my word that it exists.

Onan, what is best in life? #2

To walk the Ruapani Circuit track. To drive to Morere Hot Springs in the evening when most people had left. To have the hot pool to ourselves, with a bottle of Armageddon IPA, and torrential rain pissing down outside the shelter. That is good.

Lazy That's Priceless blogging: Szépművészeti Múzeum edition

Giuseppe Cesari (1602-1603):

Actaeon finds dead-branch-based body mods to be less of a babe magnet than expected.

What we learned today

1. God is totally unsportsmanlike. I mean, like, three feckin arrows? Is that giving the little popes a sporting chance? And it's not even pope season! Fuck you God.

2. You can't walk anywhere in Heaven without stepping on disembodied baby heads. They are the Lego blocks of the Empyrean.

3. Beefcake boy would like to shelter some little popes too but he doesn't have a cloak so he is playing an invisible theremin instead.

4. It was probably a mistake to send Another Kiwi back to 1518 in the Time Machine with the idea of buying cheap political cartoons from Lucas Cranach d. Ä., because quite frankly we have no idea what the cartoon is about. Something about Sea Shepherd? Next time, Cranach, is it so difficult to write little identificatory labels on the figures?