Thursday, October 4, 2012

Spruiking it offshore

The esteemed readership may be unaware of the term "spruik". Apparently this is archaic Australian slang which means that Mrs Kiwi and I lived in the Arcane days what with hearing spruikers all the time during our time in Melbourne, Australia. But nevermind, I realise that time is different in upsidedown lands what with the Torremolinos  effect around the plughole (they have a charter and everything).
Of particular memory is the butcher spruiker who would call all the ladies, "Darlin' " and the blokes, "Sir". He once vouchsafed to me that I looked like I knew a good sausage when I saw one. This is difficult question to answer in public but I believe my lecture on black puddings may have dissuaded him from asking me again.
 Of current interest in the world of spruiking is the visit to major film studios by the Pry Mincer of New Zild, one John Key. He is apparently going to go and show them his bottom remind them of what a good place for making movies NZ is, what with the cowed workforce and the medieval attitudes and the beautiful scenery.
"Oh" people might say "that Another Kiwi, he is an unkind no good and probably writes rude letters in online newspapers. Jonno is going to the movie moghuls and it will be easy street for us all when he gets it up the bottom lands the next big movie here."
But, of course, no one within 2 metres of Mrs. Cat wishes any harm or bad things or even tiresome oiks to happen in or around Mr. Key, it is just that there is all this other shit going on and on and on.
To recap for Mr Big Bad Bald Bastard who is working too hard and has probably not been keeping up with the Kim Dot Com (of the Nordrhein-Westfalen, Dot Coms) saga.
Kim Dot Com came to live here and the government said that he and his money were most welcome, never mind all that fraud nonsense in archaic times (I do not know if these were sausage archaic times). KDC had a file sharing site which attracted the attention of the FBI and NZ police raided the Dot Com squillion dollar humble home and perp walked him into shiny black cars. Since then it has come out that confiscating KDC's hard drives was probably not lawful, the NZ spies service spied on him illegally and the FBI was heavily involved and had live video of the raid beamed directly to the FBI Secret Island.  
Also John Key was told about this in January but only slightly so really he wasn't lying when he said he knew nothing up until last week....
Now he is going off to meet some fairly sharp (in legal terms) guys and try to schmooze them into filming stuff here in case they had forgotten we exist or something.
Luckily the Romulan Mittens is still around for the laffs is all I say.
Complete lack of Smutdate:
Conspicuous absence of comments about NZ spy agencies and how their remit seems to have changed in the last 15 years, to acting an an ancillary to the NZ police and broadening the definition of "vital national security concern" to include "suspicion of violating US copyright law".


M. Bouffant said...

The Federal Body Inspectors have really expanded their global reach over the last few yrs. Esp. in the service of "commerce."

Substance McGravitas said...

When you go black pudding
There's nothing as gooding.

Substance McGravitas said...

Ha ha "lowered its sights".