Monday, November 26, 2012

Inter-disciplinary Research: Madame Whiplash was offering a special deal, Present this voucher for Two-dominatrices-for-the-price-of-one

Dear Marsden Grants Committee,
It has come to our attention LOOK A SQUIRREL our attention here at Riddled Research Laboratory that all the cool kids these days are publishing in inter-disciplinary journals with sweeping coverage like Entropy (from MDPI publishers)...

Special Issue Information

Dear Colleagues,
The simplest and most informative linguistic messages are the kind found in ordinary true narratives. Such valid messages ― laden with pragmatic information ― provide the limiting antithesis of biosemiotic entropy. Generalizing from linguistic to biological systems, and taking account of some of the countless ways any complex arrangement of symbols can be rendered senseless, the thesis to be explored in this special issue is that the corruption of biological messages from genetics upward to epigenetics, proteins, cells, tissues, and the organs of viable organisms ― which can be described as biosemiotic entropy ― is, unsurprisingly, the proximate cause of disorders, diseases, and mortality. We invite contributions ― pro, con, or offering any plausible alternative ― to the idea that corrupted biological messages account for (but, of course, are not limited to) anaphylaxis, preeclampsia, sudden death syndrome, immune disorders, autism, and so forth. Empirical and theoretical articles are invited exploring pathways by which toxins, disease agents, and their interactions, and/or injuries from microwave, electromagnetic, radiological, or other energy sources can be shown to increase biosemiotic entropy. Empirically grounded arguments showing how cascading series of effects lead to certain injuries, diseases, and/or known disorders are preferred.

Judging from the absence of a simplest and most informative linguistic message, that was not an ordinary true narrative. How about the journal Life (also from MDPI)? It added to the gaiety of nations with this famous sample of underpants-on-the-head creativity:

And then there is Water, which offers bafflegab with extra quantum physics:
Where else is one to learn of the special properties of the second phase of liquid water, resulting from its quantum-coherent behaviour at room temperatures plus an alternative value of the phase of the quantum vacuum?*
(7) PROFIT.

Now at Riddled we have recently succeeded in reconstructing de Selby's celebrated water-box -- "probably the most delicate and fragile instrument ever made by human hands" -- by following hints jotted in the margins of a copy of the de Selby / Schrödinger Colloquys at the Dublin Institute for Advanced Studies. It may be that Water is the ideal target journal for reporting our subsequent attempts to create this elusive second phase, by diluting water to a degree hitherto undreamed-of.

This is a question of some debate, however, for the niche for "extended hand-wavy aqueous metaphors" is hotly contested at the moment, and Another Kiwi favours Water Journal.** The unresolved dispute has led to unseemly scrimmages in the tea-room. Mrs Miggins' Beetroot Butties are not for throwing, AK.


* Del Giudice is a crank with a passing acquaintance with Quantum Field Theory which he uses primarily to promote homeœpathy and cold fusion.

** Editorial board features Del Giudice. The editor, G.H. Pollack, is a crank with tenure at U.Wash. Despite having his own journal he still publishes mainly through Youtuber.
A pair of watery reciprocating cranks. Illustration
courtesy of helpful brownie ITTDGYA in comments.
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UPDATED due to insufficient post-lengthyness with YET ANOTHER inter-disciplinary pay-to-print journal devoted to vague hydraulic maundering!!

The International Journal of Design & Nature AND Ecodynamics comes to us from the Wessex Institute of Technology Press, an Intelligent Design-themed publisher noted for organising bogus academic conferences. The special issue on water was co-edited by del Giudice AND Pollack together, to provide all one's reciprocal-citation cargo-cult alternative science in one convenient package.

8 comments:

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

If two vortices orbit one another due to the Fujiwhara Effect, how do two dominatrices in close proximity interact?

Substance McGravitas said...

Maybe the key to getting a paper into one of these journals is to MAKE water.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Cranks Are Important!!
~

Smut Clyde said...

Imma going to steal that picture, ITTDGY.

how do two dominatrices in close proximity interact
It depends whether one Donna Matrix is the dual or the conjugate of the other.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

And the naughty Nautilus makes its appearance.
~

tigris said...

http://www.strangehorizons.com/2003/20031013/memory.shtml

fish said...

You are just jealous that NZ researchers weren't the first to sequence Sasquatch DNA.

Smut Clyde said...

As it turns out, Ketchum says her DNA sample was obtained from a blueberry bagel left in the backyard of a Michigan home

Have they ruled out the possibility that the source was Homer Simpson?