Wednesday, January 16, 2013

About Time

Minutes of the Variations in Electromagnetic Sinusoidal Phenomena in Time and Radish Sculpture Society.
Mr. S. Clyde noted that with all the buggering about with the time machine lately, rods and gears and "Lord knows what else" needed replacing. Mr. A.Kiwi said that it should be noted that some of the activity related to specific projects and those projects would get itemised repair bills once the workshop and the order book were found again.
He further noted that whoever had left the keys to the Time machine in the bleedin' library should get a clip around the earhole, what with the library pixies rewriting history in, admittedly humourous, but inaccurate ways. Mr S. Clyde said that the monkey pope was a good one Mr A.Kiwi vouchsafed that the fart jokes in the "new" Bible lightened it up for the better.
Mr. S. Bob said that REDACTED REDACTED people should REDACTED look after their REDACTED REDACTED and his brother-in-law, REDACTED, would come and look at the blessed time machine on REDACTED Saturday REDACTED. 
Ms. tigris noted the experiment to find out who had been pinching the Chocolate Hobnobs from the Riddled tearoom had met some unexpected challenges to do with the inability of the time machine to return to exact temporal-spatial co-ordinates. Mr. S.Clyde and Mr A.Kiwi said that there were dark forces at work but they would say no further. Ms. E.van Holsterin said that they were both loonies.
Mr. G.Hugh noted that the supply of radishes in the art supplies cupboard was going down and could members bring in some fresh ones. He reminded members that Mangelwurzels were not radishes. Mr. A Kiwi asked if the committee had decided on the eligibility of R. caudatus. Mr G.Hugh asked Mr A.Kiwi not to go on and on about that as it gave him a headache and it was a load of old balls anyway. Mr A.Kiwi started to explain about the Brassicaceae but Ms. E. van Holsterin looked at him and he concluded his thoughts. Ms E.van Holsterin noted that her cousin Throgmorton might be able to some radishes quite cheap from up at the Hospital. Mr. S.Clyde noted that R.caudatus would be the least of our worries with that lot.
Mr A.Kiwi said that he thought it would be bleedin' lettuces next. Ms E. van Holsterin noted that some people should stop going on about vegetables because it was not like they were expensive like chocolate biscuits.
A plate of Mrs Miggins' Carrot and Whelk Spring Surprises arrived and the meeting broke up in disorder.


Smut Clyde said...

the inability of the time machine to return to exact temporal-spatial co-ordinates

Now there are some who blame this on ill-judged meddling with the Morphogenic Flux Intensifier, which acted in a COMPLETELY UNFORESEEABLE WAY on the capabilities of the Tardis and the Time Tunnel and Quantum Leap and that emo git Adam Eterno, i.e. crap time-space-map-reading is now an iron-cast rule for all previous or future time machines. I myself am more inclined to blame it on Narrativium.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Carrot and whelk?, I pondered.

No whey!

Another Kiwi said...

I'm just saying that making the Morphogenic Flux intensifier look like a cupholder is asking for trouble.
Jeepers, Thunder, carrots and whelks are lying down with each other! It's the end times bro.

tigris said...

I hope Evangeline has now learned not to hide the biscuits in her hat, what with the head-biting and all.

Smut Clyde said...

Highlights from the Radish Sculpture Collection.