Sunday, February 17, 2013

Firkin -- Not just a family of pine trees

Blind skwirls seek guide-dog
The idea originally came from Another Kiwi, to stock "Sexy Bankruptcy Barrel" costumes in the Gift Shop, in honour of the continuing strength of the NZ Dollar and to celebrate the increase of chocolate rations to 25 grams per week. But even a blind squirrel is right twice a day, and even a roomful of monkeys with typewriters will find a truffle given time enough, and the Riddled Enterprises governing board voted in favour of the proposal (at a moment in the meeting when I had been sent out of the boardroom on a spurious errand involving left-handed spanners).

So here are glamorous supermodels Greenish Hugh and I, in sample costumes, posing for photographs that will bring customers to the Gift Shop in their droves, a drove being one of the few vehicles large enough to fit a freshly-purchased Bankruptcy Barrel in the back. "Look sexy!" tigris exhorts us; "Wear them with elan and panache!" This is although we were told that wearing underclothes was cheating, even French ones. Also we have a sad on account of not fitting through the door into the Old Entomologist.


And look at AK in the garden bar! Somehow the jammy bastard has equipped himself with a different costume altogether. I call shenanigans.

We will see what the Dream Machine has to say about this.
 photo barrel.gif

UPDATE: In comments we continue to be the butt of tigris' jokes.

The individual to the left is being forced to dress in barrels as a humiliating punishment for a traffic speeding offense. He was caught doing the tun.

16 comments:

Substance McGravitas said...

"Wear them with elan and panache!"

If your models include Elam this is a failing venture.

El Manquécito said...

Oh man, just don't tell me it's my turn in the barrel.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

But even a blind squirrel is right twice a day,

Not hardly. Squirrels are as evil as Catlick Preests.

However, I have no particular problem with coating them in blue-black plastic and arranging them in art displays. In fact I encourage it.

tigris said...

I recall that to stave off exactly the sort of problems we encountered I recommended we should use stock photos, and was pilloried for it.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Also we have a sad on account of not fitting through the door into the Old Entomologist

Tigris is evil.
~

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I guess I am not surprised that a Canuckinoid is disparaging Jack Elam in the comments of an Australian blog.

mikey said...

Heh. You guys are more fun than a barrel of naked babes..

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

go to work, mikey.

El Manquécito said...

Exhibit A is NOT A BARREL. Also not a cask, firkin, butt or other cooperish product that might have held cheering beverages or salted meat at the least. In fact it appears to be a lampshade though amusingly decorated and worn.

OBS said...

I recall that to stave off exactly the sort of problems we encountered I recommended we should use stock photos, and was pilloried for it.

Why be hobbled by a stock photo agency? Don't get shackled into a restrictive licensing deal -- unfettered access to free photos is common now.

I must say Greenish Hugh and Smut do both look absolutely dashing in their drunkard's collars. I hope this new fashion trend catches on.

Another Kiwi said...

OBS Tengrain is the 'go to' guy for fashion news

tigris said...

If you can't do the tun, don't do the run. Or summat.

fish said...

stock stock photo

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Tigris is evil.

That would explain the monocle and the white Persian cat.

Smut Clyde said...

Stock photograph.

Another Kiwi said...

Shuttered fish stock and rightly so.