Oh the huge manatee: Just one of our secret weapons

Scenes from this North Korean documentary reveal the secret American plan to invade them with warships and rockets that look like Jimmy Durante.


Evidently someone in the American military is convinced that North Koreans are mortally scared of dead big-nosed comedians -- or perhaps they revere them as godlike figures -- so dressing up weapon systems and assault vessels in this way would demoralise the peace-loving people of the DPRK and scatter all resistance before them like leaves.

They didn't get it from reading Linebarger, is all I'm saying... but these are the master tacticians who decided that The Arab Mind was the best guide for a peaceful occupation of Afghanistan and Iraq, so anything is possible.

Blowing the whistle

These reports led to a veritable spate of investigative journalism (better known as "Look busy, tigris is coming") among the fearless Riddled newshounds. And now we are in a position to blow the whistle and announce that the American running-dog imperialists are preparing 6250 paintings of Jimmy Durante ready to air-drop into the latest victim of their aggression in a crushing blow against morale! What's worse, they are recruiting innocent children to paint them! It sounds unbelievable but here is PHOTOGRAPHIC PROOF.

We say this at great risk to our safety but at Riddled we will not be silenced or intimidated or hardly ever bribed.

To be charitable, this is better than air-dropping incendiary bats. As for air-drops of pigeon burritos, those have been condemned by the World Association of Taco Dealers.