We remind all staff that when a slot in the control panel is labelled "Taq Polymerase Replenishment Only", it is not intended for the disposal of ham-sandwich crusts

It remains to be seen whether the market for gourmet pork ice-cream onna stick really exists. However, when a minor contamination issue in the Vat-grown Godmeat facility results in a glut of tissue-cultured pig muscle, one does the best one can to dispose of it.

The initial plan was to sell the product under the name "Pink Ham Frozen Dairy Dessert", until Riddled's legal advisors Messrs Trahison and Clerisy (Solicitors and Commissioners for Oaths) pointed out at their usual hourly rate that this was a misnomer since a ham contains a bone which is absent from the cultured product. To avoid misleading consumers we have marked them as Champagne hams instead. This should spare us the usual prying and impertinent inquiries from the Trades Descriptions Board.