Sunday, May 26, 2013

Concept for a horror movie: A series of grisly murders, all inspired by "The Secret Miracle" and other Jorge Luis Borges stories, and all performed by cupids

Having read how cupids had been trained to re-enact horror movie roles,* Keats was convinced that he and Chapman could follow in the footsteps of Riddled Enterprises and the Grand Petit-Guignol Tabletop Theatre, as a minimal-effort route to fame and fortune and regular meals. This was during a period in the poets' impecunious career when they were adhering to a liquid diet in an attempt to save money, and both were feeling more than usually light-headed.

Chapman was less confident about the practicalities of setting up as exhibitors of performing cupids. He cited the general opinion among experts that cupids are bloodthirsty wild animals, intractable to any form of domestication.

Keats dismissed Chapman's demurrals with an expensive gesture of the drinks-spilling variety. "That may be true of wild-type cherubs fresh from the colony on Piphola," he said. "But the fact is that we have been domesticating the species for generations -- or rather, they have been domesticating themselves as dogs did, self-selecting the ones who can co-exist with humans on the fringes of settlement in a sort of symbiosis."

Chapman remained unconvinced as to the level of cooperation to be obtained from the average cupid. He pointed to recent tragedies where trainers had been savaged or owners had plummeted to death when levitation belts were switched off.

"It is simply a matter of capturing them and starting the training when they are still fledglings," maintained Keats, with the indefatigable optimism that only complete ignorance can provide. "Catch them young enough and they will be putti in our hands."
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* History repeats itself: the first time as indie drama, the second time as a big-budget Hollywood remake with CGI and car explosions.

11 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Keats dismissed Chapman's demurrals with an expensive gesture of the drinks-spilling variety.

I know that gesture!
~

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

P.S. I'm waiting for the third time: The Bollywood remake.
~

tigris said...

Silly putti, more likely.

El Manquécito said...

Create a bunch of Lilliputtians and you'll end up tied down. AGAIN.

Trevor said...

You going through my back issues nof Metal Hurlant? Also, word verification wants me to revointe a committee, which makes me feel dirty.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

"The Martyrdom of St Stephen" at the hands of a cherub... that's probably heretical.

Another Kiwi said...

We have not published anything about herets. We don't even know what a heret is.We assumed some kind of chocolate biscuit.

mikey said...

To be honest, I'm not awfully worried about cherubs with bows and errors. Shovels and machetes are sufficient defensive equipment.

When they come with belt-fed weapons and anti-armor missiles, however, I'm leaving town...

Word verification calls me a frooker. Frook you, you nasty little frooker...

Substance McGravitas said...

Very well then. I will know which outfit to blame when I wander the countryside straining to hear the babbling of cute little cherubs and encounter NOTHING.

Smut Clyde said...

Well if BBBB is buying, can we have dark chocolate herets next time? The milk-chocolate ones go all oozy on the fingers.

Smut Clyde said...

when I wander the countryside straining to hear the babbling of cute little cherubs and encounter NOTHING.

The puttees go around your ankles, Mr McG, not around your ears.