Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Seven years of labour on the instruments of time

That is how long the fell beings from the Unseelie Court honed their invasion plans.
For seven years the nightmare vanguard worked to mask the loathly truth of their appearance -- all teratomous polyostomous abomination and POOP -- behind a seductive glamour. Even as they wore away at the frayed fabric where realities come closest, where the membrane is thinnest separating their dimension from the fictional realm, where the barrier is unguarded and unfortified.

And then the stars were right for the conquest of the realm of narrative!
But the Unseelie Court had not reckoned with Lilliputian hallucinations and the Charles Bonnet syndrome, and the radical effect they wreak on scale, especially in fiction...

...so the cat got them.
So they tried again. Again, a tradition (or old charter) took its toll on scale...
And the cat got them.

Mrs Spat and Detritis Doodleberry Fairypoo Cupcake III would like everyone to know that Lilliputian hallucinations are tasty and fun to play with, but they are not at all filling -- especially for a growing cat -- and 20 minutes later it's time for dinner again.

Inside sources warn that the next time the Unseelie Court attempt to invade, they will shift their target to the realm of visual fiction. We are confident that the scale distortion will thwart them again and the incursion will be quickly detected.

14 comments:

M. Bouffant said...

Attention, sane and insane scientists: Your experiments to create half-men, half-beasts may not be legal in every jurisdiction. The construction of such hybrid life forms is now prohibited in several Sun Belt states, including Arizona and Louisiana, and Mississippi lawmakers have introduced a bill to do the same.
Just be careful w/ the Evolvamat.

"Growing" cat. Hee hee.

Smut Clyde said...

But mixing human genes with those of a watermelon will remain legal. Good to know.

El Manquécito said...

Despite extensive work seedless watermelons don't taste as good as... wait, WHAT?

tigris said...

I'd say to make sure when holding the tiny endoplasmic doll and a sharp needle to bring about the blood bond you don't slip and stab yourself instead your intended victim, but it wouldn't matter because IT ALWAYS HAPPENS.

mikey said...

Psssshhhh.

I've had tiny ballerinas dancing on my junk for decades.

The annoying part is when they stop and demand better working conditions...

Smut Clyde said...

I'd say to make sure when holding the tiny endoplasmic doll and a sharp needle to bring about the blood bond you don't slip and stab yourself instead your intended victim

Imma guessing that tigris has read Charles Williams' "All Hallows' Eve".

Another Kiwi said...

It's all fun and games until the tiny ballerina falls into the washing machine or blender. It doesn't say that they are good at being tiny ballerinas.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

all teratomous polyostomous abomination and POOP

What about squamous and rugose?

SHA'N'T... BE... BACK!!!

Your experiments to create half-men, half-beasts may not be legal in every jurisdiction. The construction of such hybrid life forms is now prohibited in several Sun Belt states, including Arizona and Louisiana, and Mississippi lawmakers have introduced a bill to do the same

How the hell did Arpaio's creators escape the law?

But mixing human genes with those of a watermelon will remain legal. Good to know

Smutty, Smut, smutty!

Substance McGravitas said...

But mixing human genes with those of a watermelon will remain legal. Good to know.

Very VERY good to know.

Smut Clyde said...

Indeed.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I don't know if the cats got the baby cardinal...but it is possible.
~

Narad said...

Not all drawings are to scale.

ckc (not kc) said...

...swim in a cistern and you'll regret it (if you don't know what the hell a cistern is, take up tai chi)

Smut Clyde said...

Feminine of "Brethren". Everyone knows that.