Vermeer vermerrier

It is always irritating when the settings on one's grey metal Tleilaxu eyes drift out of alignment.

To make dark-cloud-ade of this particular sow's-ear there are two silk linings...

(1) The boundness hilarity it provides to the happy people at the Tleilaxu Helpline when one rings up to complain and to ask about the warranty; and

(2) The inspiration for the Do-it-yourself Vermeer Cubism set.

The set -- not quite yet available at the Riddled Gift-Shoppe -- has been receiving intensive fool-proofing testing through the usual representative sample of random subjects in the staff tea-room. Thus far we have the following observations to report:

A. Another Kiwi is not entirely clear on the concept. An uncharitable interpretation of his eagerness to repeatedly sit through the test is that he enjoys the opportunity to pull the white latex gloves onto his hands, lingeringly, sensuously. Then he likes to blow them up and pretend that they are bagpipes. The Riddled Research Funds are not unlimited, Mr AK, and it is not with pleasure that I anticipate the prospect of filling in Form 14-C72(delta) to requisition a new pack of gloves.

B. Also unclear on the concept: Space-Time Eddie, who seems to have ignored the whole idea of "reassembling Vermeer" and aimed for a Klee pastiche instead. I would have argued with him, but remonstrations have not proven helpful in previous dealings with Eddie, unless one is using "helpful" as a term of art that encompasses "shouting and flappy-hands and gin".


C. If possible, Substance McGravitas has deviated even further from the purpose of the task and created a votive figure of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

It's NOT THAT HARD people. Look, here's Schoenherr to show how it's done.