Saturday, June 22, 2013

Wash away boy, shelley's shoes: Arthur Rimbaud's short-lived career in advertising

"A, black velvety jacket of brilliant flies
Which buzz around cruel smells,
Gulfs of shadow..."

Well Artie, I can see that you're in the middle of a fine frenzy, with poet's eye rolling and all that, but you gotta remember that we are in this business to sell washing machines. To housewives. And when housewives dump a pile of t-shirts and socks and knickers into one of the customer's products, do we want them to be thinking of 'brilliant flies' and 'cruel smells' and 'black velvety jackets'? Do we want this kind of association to spring into their minds when they are in the whiteware appliance shop deciding which washer to buy? And this is a question of the rhetorical variety which means I give you the answer for gratis, and the answer is No, Artie, we do not.

Now what you wrote for the Vowel E, that was great, though the bit about cow-parsley will have to go...

"E, whiteness of vapours and of tents,
Lances of proud glaciers, white kings, shivers of cow-parsley..."

Exactly. Now, you got anything for us for the Model Y?
Good luck in your next job, Artie, because you aren't working here no more.
The Bradford Washing-Machine company did not like back vowels with low F2-F1 formant difference. All their machines are named after front vowels in the IPA vowel trapezium. No-one knows why but it it is IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Y just can't make up its mind...vowel or consonant?

No one knows y.

tigris said...

IPA vowel trapezium

I found it not quite hoppy enough.

El Manquécito said...

When is it ever?

Smut Clyde said...

No one knows y.

Go to your room, ITTDGY.

Another Kiwi said...

If Ms tigris had bothered to read the sign on the front of the IPA vowel trapeze she would have seen that, just like the bouncy castle, it was not for people over 5 years old.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

In his defense, his ad campaign for drunken boats sold a lot of product.

Substance McGravitas said...

Y just can't make up its mind...


Smut Clyde said...

As is the tradition: