Here in Antipodia the time approaches to celebrate Paraphernalia, ancient Roman festival of whimsical gadgetry and tools too specific to be used more than once.
Now available from the
Riddled Gift Shoppe:
The Gripping Hand. The perfect addition to any construction bench. Grips like a vice, although
which vice is probably best left unspecified.
Ethical issues about consuming clownmeat? Now your squalms and cruples can be a thing of the past, when you have your own cellular-assembly 3D tissue printer!* Can be programmed for any meat!
[warranty does not cover production of svið]
Tired of a personification of commercialised festivity manifesting down your chimney every year? Folkloric entities drawing their power from centuries of psychic accretion can be dangerous and unpredictable. Summon and disperse it in total safety, shielded behind an Electric Pentacle!
Of course some people like ZRM and Thundra reject the modern technology and insist on being all old-school about it.
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*
As noted over at LGM:
Clowns are like oysters: you have to open the hard outer shell and then you can eat the inside.
In another point of similarity, both are liable to squirt water in your eye in an attempt at self-defense.
Now available from the Riddled Gift Shoppe: The Gripping Hand. The perfect addition to any construction bench. Grips like a vice, although which vice is probably best left unspecified.
Of course some people like ZRM and Thundra reject the modern technology and insist on being all old-school about it.
4 comments:
I tried the clown steaks once, but they tasted funny.
Naughty children get Krampus!
Tired of a personification of commercialised festivity manifesting down your chimney every year? Folkloric entities drawing their power from centuries of psychic accretion can be dangerous and unpredictable. Summon and disperse it in total safety, shielded behind an Electric Pentacle!
Relevant.
Now available from the Riddled Gift Shoppe: The Gripping Hand.
We had those Things AGES ago.
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