Thursday, June 18, 2015

Bad luck, Skippy

Kangaroos are not considered to be legitimate service / sensory-assistance animals.

An excess of scruples and qualms prevents me from living my intended career as a cad, so I need this assistance marsupial which makes me a vicarious bounder.

15 comments:

JP said...

The best part is that the eight-month-old kangaroo is named Jimmy.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I wonder if I could pass off a wolverine as an emotional support animal...

Smut Clyde said...

I impulsively opted for 'Korenwulf' as my Spirit Guide animal before discovering that this is Dutch for 'hamster'.

JP said...

I somehow ended up with "middle-aged man" as my spirit animal, it would seem.

JP said...

Probably becuz DAD, I imagine, but that is depressing to admit.

Smut Clyde said...

I can't understand the absence of posts on this topic at Boing Boing.

Smut Clyde said...

The best part is that the eight-month-old kangaroo is named Jimmy.

Second-best part -- that this wasn't Florida.

tigris said...

The officer says the woman was upset at first, but then agreed to leave the restaurant.

I can only imagine how badly this might have turned out if she hadn't had the emotional support kangaroo.

Smut Clyde said...

"Emotional Support Kangaroo" is the new "Tractors Turnip Buttocks".

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Hamsters are among the most underrated Spirit Guide Animals.
~

rhwombat said...

Late to the party for work reasons, but we denizens of Oz (AKA The West Island, Home of Russell Crowe and Phar Lap) are under a geas to butt in if any one of the two-small-brained-but-emminantly-edible animals on our national coat of arms is mentioned anywhere on The Web (Bullshit - we're just so adolescent that we scan the tubes endlessly for confirmation of our continued existence.)

As far as Emotional Support Kangaroos go - meh. I'm a pseudomarsupial. I've had an Emotional Support Kangaroo. An Emotional Support Kangaroo was a friend of mine. Jimmy, you're no Emotional Support Kangaroo. Give me an Emotional Support Echidna every time. Or an Anti-Persoonsmijnen Ontmijnende Product Ontwikkeling African giant pouched rat. Boom boom.

Re hamsters: I dimly recall a psychiatric paper on the phenomenon of lycanthropy. It described 10 people with persistent beliefs that they were (or were turning into) various animals, including wolves, tigers and bears. The hypothesis that this represented an functional response to powerlessness by the adoption of a powerful identity was somewhat confounded by the case of a man who thought he was a were-hamster.



Smut Clyde said...

Not this paper?

Smut Clyde said...

Give me an Emotional Support Echidna every time.

Accept emotional support from an animal with four freckin' penes? I do not think so.

JP said...

In preparation for semen collection, the echidna is placed
in lateral recumbency on a clean surface of the floor of
its enclosure. Using a closed fist, the zookeeper gently
pushes his hand into the lower abdomen of the animal,
at which time the echidna usually responds by pushing its
cloaca up against the zookeeper’s fist and developing an
erection.


I mean really, who am I to judge?

rhwombat said...

SC: Ah. Gerbils. Revenge of the Were-Gerbil, starring Richard Gere. R rated.
SC+JP: ...very, very carefully.