It transpires that a "suppository" is not the room in one's house devoted to inventing weird hypotheses, assumptions and stipulations. We regret the error

Oh how frustrating. The library pixies appear to have commandeered the baroque fountain in the courtyard of stately Riddled Manor, and have converted tigris' shoe collection into small galleys, which they are rowing around in the water and ramming each other while emitting shrill squeals of inhuman glee.

We had planned to drain the fountain, fill it with milk, and ferment Healthy Probiotic Yogurt, such as all the cool kids are making these days. Although Evangeline van Holsterin -- head barmaid at the Old Entomologist -- was skeptical about the prospects of forcing yoghurt through the handpumps, and rebuffed Another Kiwi and I with a variation on her usual riposte "You are both loonies". Anyway, the plan is on temporary hiatus.

Now available from Riddled Labs:
Self-fermenting dairy animals

What prompted this, Uncle Smut? Have there been recent developments in the world of Magic Yogurt?

Not really. Dairy-fermentation impresario Marco Ruggiero continues to promote and sell his probiotic products through his company Silver Spring Sagl,¹ while selflessly continuing his research into health issues which will be improved by the immune-system-boosting mammalian glycoprotein GcMAF it contains.² He might save effort and finish with a shorter list if he focussed on researching health issues which it does not improve, but I digress.

There has been airing of skepticism from people who looked in vain for the chemical in question:

"For example, one doctor set up a company in Guernsey Island that markets containers allegedly containing the material. We bought one of his containers, and couldn’t find the molecule in it. We’re keeping our distance from these people."

It is possible that Uri Yogev (the Efranat CEO being cited) could not find the Glycosolated Polypeptide Formerly Known as GcMAF because it was going by a different name at the time. It is also known as S-MAF, MAF314 and "Vitamin D binding protein" or VDBP. Personally I am suspicious when a chemical changes its name... an honest chemical with nothing to hide has no need for aliases or noms-du-beurre.

More dramatic, however, was the interruption to supply, with one UK purveyor falling an innocent victim of the regulatory crackdown on the injectable GcMAF provided by David Noakes and his company First Immune. Trevor Banks and Lesley Hutchings, of GcMAFresearch.com,³ report:

Because of this association to the product known as gcmaf, MAFActive has been raided, stock taken and they have interrupted the supply lines and the banking facilities. The MHRA want to close the MAFActive brand.

[...]

We have been more than careful in not making any health claims for these products, but there is feedback and customer comments in various places on the www. However, our stance is that we cannot be responsible for the content of any other website, nor is it our jurisdiction to stifle the free speech of other people in a social media setting.§

MAFActive™ is a registered trademark of the company Cytoinnovations Ltd. The Google Machine reveals that Cytoinnovations is owned by Trevor Banks, currently the company's sole director, although previous directors include Lesley Hutchings and a Lynda Thyer. Trevor and Lesley also share ownership of the company VDBP Ltd. Anyway, motivated perhaps by a sudden desire to keep kosher, Trevor and Lesley want to distance their persecuted Dairy of Anne Frank from Noakes' blood-extract operation:

In fairness, the CEO of the company was making some outrageous and unsubstantiated claims and was ripe for being investigated by the MHRA because he was breaking so many of the rules. He was claiming an inordinate amount of cures and supplying injectable products that were not only unapproved by the authorities, but lacking any evidence of efficacy. He prevented free speech on social media about his products via gagging orders. His company has been alleged to fabricate results and testimonies, and so abuse the trust of the public in a time of their most vulnerable. This would be considered by the MHRA to be making profits on entirely unsubstantiated and created evidence, at the expense of the health and wellbeing of the public. It is not surprising that he was the subject of an enforcement raid.

Silly Uncle Smut. You used the 'Anne Frank's Dairy' joke last time. Have you been smoking dried leeches again?

Now I've forgotten what I was ranting about.

Blood / dairy rivalry. Kosher. Calenture fritillary hatstand.

Ah yes, the hostility, it is hard to credit. For Lesley Hutchings used to work for Noakes, trawling the Interlattice for any comment threads mentioning cancer or autism and spamming them with GcMAF advertisements:

I work part time as customer follow up for First Immune GcMAF and also monitor the web for mentions of GcMAF

While Trevor filled a similar informative role on patient support-group fora.

But alas, the schism is corroborated by an outside source in the ME/CFS community:

We go through Dr. Bradstreet to get pre-filled syringes of gcmaf or Goleic. He orders from David Noakes' company in the UK.

[...]

David Noakes has a competitor, Lesley Banks Hutchings, who used to work with Noakes. Perhaps many of you know this. Lesley started her own business. I am not sure if one of the products some of you are referring to on here is Lesley's product, MAFactive. Lesley gets the gcmaf for her spray from the lab in Switzerland. Bradstreet purchased his gcmaf and Goleic from Noakes, because he has seen the best results from that gcmaf. Hutchings is basically usmg children who have autism in order to gain backing for her product. These are my words. She sells MAFactive as long as the parents participte via surveys or something.

There is a lot of hatred between the 2 companies. Dr. B has told me that MAF active is not safe, and yet Hutchings' company seems to be able to continue sellimg her product, while Noakes has been shut down. I am no fan of David Noakes. I do not post on this site very much, but some of my posts have been about Noakes. I hope that there has been no "foul play" from Hutchings' company in this matter. I am not alluding to that being a possibility. But, when there is so much hatred between Hutchings and Noakes, one has to wonder.

And Lynda Thyer, briefly a director of Trevor's company, again had previously worked for Noakes and then for his garage home-brewery / extraction plant 'Macro Innovations'. IS THERE NO LOYALTY? NO HONOUR?

Will the regulatory barriers affect New Zealand consumers?

I am confident that local purveyors will cope with demand for Bravo Probiotic Suppositories.

Evolution has provided us with cells in the intestines, ready to absorb the GcMAF when it is administered in this form. One could follow the suppositories with a black-coffee enema and perhaps some orange juice, but that is not my idea of a continental breakfast.

Fortunately, if the supply of molecules of GcMAF runs short, there is always Homeopathy to magnify their potency.

Homeopathic MAF Grade C Sugar Tablets
Produced by Helios Homeopathy in the UK, each bottle contains approximately 30 grade C homeopathic sugar pills to be dissolved under the tongue.

Sublingual S-MAF Atomizer
Each atomizer contains 5.0ml of solution of which 7.5% is Sodium Chloride (NaCl) and 800ng of S-MAF (Macrophage Activating Factor). Each spray contains approximately 30 nanograms of MAF. One atomizer contains enough S-MAF for one to two months, depending on the frequency of administration.

Sublingual S-MAF Drops
One sublingual dropper contains 800ng of S-MAF (Macrophage Activating Factor) in 5ml sterile saline solution. Each drop contains approximately 30 nanograms of S-MAF. One dropper contains enough sublingual drops for one to two months, depending on the frequency of administration.

We wish you well!
Lesley & Trevor

Not to forget MAFActive Protein Enriched Massage Cream. According to the MAFActive Cream Homeopathic Research Initiative

MAFActive Cream has been produced by a leading UK Homeopathic Pharmacy and contains VDBP at 6x dilutions.

But now I am confused. Mafactive.com advises us that the cream is

Vitamin D binding protein in a base of natural oils and waxes. This contains no preservatives, so should be kept in the fridge and used within 8 weeks of receipt. Used as a massage cream to stimulate the lymphatic regions of the face and neck, this may help to reduce puffiness and give the skin a glowing complexion.
Ingredients: Purified water, almond oil, emulsifying wax, borax, glycoprotein.

Please make up your mind. As a would-be informed consumer, I like to know whether or not there is any active ingredient before I rub the lotion on my skin.

I am always worried that excessive dilution of the active ingredient will result in a homeopathic overdose.

UPDATE: now available from the Riddled Gifte Shoppe, our own brand of protein-enriched massage cream to give the skin a glowing complexion, "Liniment of Gratified Desire".

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¹ Ruggiero and his co-owner Fulvia Gianetta Allio also own Les Alpes, which is not a Northern English stand-up comedian from the 1980s; we regret the error. It is in fact a Swiss-based company which burnishes its pastoral credibility by operating out of a New Zealand mailbox (for a while Ruggiero's website was presenting itself as a Swiss branch of that mailbox).

² The discovery that bacteria fermenting in milk obligingly create an immune-system-boosting mammalian glycoprotein was revealed to a conference in 2011.

³ Also of MAFActive.com and MAFActive.eu. And CytoInnovations.com, and 1stProEngineering, which supplies a time-saving preparation of MAF ready-mixed with colloidal silver.

Trevor further compiles a "Healingautismblog.com" website, which is a lovingly hand-curated mixture of hoaxy street-sweepings and reports from Jeff Bradstreet's self-promotion site, focussing on advertisements for GcMAF and its autism-curing properties... advertorials which Bradstreet more recently scrubbed from his own site after Noakes started giving snake-oil a bad rep. The same material is mirrored at the site VDBP.info.

Connoisseurs of the Banks-Hutchings oeuvre might also enjoy the Nagalese Blood Test site, to find whether or not you need GcMAF; GcMAF Autism; Healing Cancer Today; and Natural Truth, their home-grown attempt to challenge Natural News.

§ "We can make no health claims for this product, as it is not a medicinal product but simply a food supplement containing vitamin D binding protein. However, we can publish comments received from users."