Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Riddle of the Sphincter

"The Patient, a 60-years old Caucasian male found unconscious in a trailer park of gypsies,..."
  1. remembered nothing of his past, and was brought up by the tribe as one of their own, and taught their traditional dances and songs and handicrafts.
  2. bore a tattoo on his left instep that identified him immediately as an agent of Clan Vassili.
  3. had only that morning been seen in the pedestrian mall, mocking a gypsy 'wise woman' and her purported psychic powers.
  4. was carried to Emergency Department at night, intubated and haemodynamically stable.
(4) is correct.
In the subsequent case study, six authors from the University of Brescia Surgical Clinic describe a patient who had been shot twice with a woefully low-velocity and underpowered firearm, at close range. At negative range in the case of the second shot, where (according to the authors' reconstruction) the gun muzzle was on the inward side of the anal sphincter, leaving no obvious entry hole.
In their words,
the second was fired directly throughout the anus; it perforated the rectum, and then it crossed the abdomen causing intestinal, gastric and diaphragmatic perforations, arresting into the left lung. *
I can only suppose that the colon injury was inflicted in the course of some sort of Boschian cos-play. The individuals would be well-advised to use pistil-dildos for safety, but perhaps these are only a thing in the US.

"Rectum", vouchsafed Another Kiwi by way of correction.

"Bloody near killed 'im," I agreed.
---------------------------------------------
* "This interpretation was later confirmed by aggressor interrogation by the Police."

6 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

"It's pdf, so it must be official," concurred Time Space Eddie.
~

rhwombat said...

Obviously Skeptical scalpel is a retired surgeon from a part of the US where the details of vendetta rituals of Brescien gypsies are relatively unknown. Either that, or he ain't telling' y'all about Cletus.

Smut Clyde said...

HA HA ITTDGY misspelled "orificial".

Yastreblyansky said...

rhw
Don't mind Skeptical Scalpel, he's just being an atypical entry hole;

Jamie Parsons said...

ELL OH MOTHERFCKING ELL

Smut Clyde said...

Cheap jokes are central to the Riddled mission statement, JP.