Saturday, April 23, 2016

Spam, Spam, Spam, Pathos and Spam

The award for 'Most Embarrassingly Pathetic Plea for a Pity-Fuck from a wannabee predatory publisher' goes to...
Bio Accent!
From Renu and Ravi Kuppala, of Hyderabad. Not only naming their company like a laundry-powder additive; but also for contributions to fulsome flattery in the griftergram genre:
We, Bio Accent open access publishers came newly into publishing sector to provide a platform to the researchers, practitioners, students and professionals from both academia as well as industry to meet and share cutting-edge development in the field of Neurology.

We have found your profile from your institute; it seems you are a very good expert in Neurology. We don’t want to miss your appreciable work so, we are inviting you for manuscript submission in BAOJ Neurology.

We request you to let us know if you have any kind of research work to publish with us and please let me know your tentative date of manuscript submission.

We are expecting huge support from your side, so it will help us to get indexed & impact factor soon.

Awaiting for your positive response.

Sincerely
Jassi

But "Fair words butter no more than 0.025% of parsnips" as we found in the course of rigorous research at the Riddled Experimental Cuisine Laboratory. A rough translation follows (courtesy of the Riddled Ktistec Machine):
Ktistec Machine
"The website collections of floor-sweepings, barrel-bottom scrapings, and jizzmop squeezings that we misrepresent as 'journals' are such contemptible trash that they are not indexed or impact-factored [and we can't be arsed buying a fake impact factor or fake indexing from one of the second-order parasites, or making up our own like the other low-lifes in the field]. It would benefit our scammy enterprise if we could steal reputation and prestige from established researchers. Please pay $650 each time you transfer your credibility to us."
From Oglaf
When this doesn't work, they will progress to the "Other Operation" (in which they offer not to publish my papers as long as I don't send them $650); and after that, to the "Other Other Operation" (in which they threaten to publish my papers, unless I send them $650).

2 comments:

H. Rumbold, Master Barber said...

"We are expecting huge support from your side" - at least they admit it.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

But "Fair words butter no more than 0.025% of parsnips" as we found in the course of rigorous research at the Riddled Experimental Cuisine Laboratory

Not quite enough of a dilution to be homeopathically effective...