Monday, December 5, 2016

Zen cones

A reader is inspired to reminiscense:
I was hired by the local government to cut costs on emergency equipment by standing by the side of the road and warning drivers about upcoming roadwork.
Roadcone cosplay is not recommended in New Zealand, where the Kea is the Roadcone's main natural predator, for Keas are bitey little buggers.


The other natural predator of roadcones -- in Christchurch at least -- is the Mitsubishi sedan.
Cones have evolved a number of ways to disguise themselves from their enemies.

They masquerade with equal ease as flower-pots, as a giraffe and as the Duke of Wellington's head.

In groups they can disguise themselves as a chessboard or a sea-urchin.


HA HA that one is not a camouflaged roadcone; it is a pink flamingo in the middle of the Polhill Reserve, possibly placed there as part of a guerilla marketing campaign to promote a theatrical reenactment of a John Waters movie.

The orange colouration comes from caretenoid pigments concentrated in the roadcone's outer layers to demonstrate its fitness to potential mates and thereby improve its reproductive success. Except in Japan, where they come in all colours (including black and white) because Japan.

I for one am concerned that these chromatic aberrations are introduced to other countries, they will out-compete the orange variety, in the manner of grey skwirls. One can only hope that they only look like road cones and are in fact a variety of Kasa-obake.

http://www.contractormag.co.nz/contractor/feature/road-cones/

8 comments:

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

The keas' DNA encodes a "species memory" of their ancient ancestors' dire enemies.

rhwombat said...

Keas have no dire enemies. They are dire enemies.

Scene: One of the top bunks in the old Hooker Hut. Evening, circa 1981. After a full day of moraine bashing down the Hooker glacier from another failed attempt at the Empress face of Cook, the protagonist is just drifting into the arms of Morpheus, and away from the aches and pains of a climbing life. Bang! Crash! Skreeeeeeech! Hahahahahahahah! Fuuuuuuck! Repeat. Two evil-birds (AKA Kea) delight in crashing into tin roof ~ 20cm from protagonist's head, sliding down full length of said roof, claws extended, grabbing the guttering, flipping upside down to chuckle evilly at handy work through small window. Repeat.

PS: Is the Polhill Reserve Flamingo a cunningly disguised WW2 Gun emplacement?
PPS: WTF was a gun emplacement needed in a reserve in WW2? Keas? Militant penguins? Geographically embarrassed emus?

Smut Clyde said...

WTF was a gun emplacement needed in a reserve in WW2?

Defense against invasion by militarised Japanese road cones.

Emma said...

THIS IS MEAN AND AWFUL AND I'M TRIGGERED

WHERE DO YOU THINK I COULD GET ME ONE OF THEM TRAFFIC CONE GIRAFFES

Smut Clyde said...

Giraffe link now added!

Emma said...

OH MY GOD

All I have to do is move to New Zealand?
Done!
(You haven't got any Trumps there, have you?)

Smut Clyde said...

Christchurch also has Buzz Aldrin at the moment. We're keeping him.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

No fair, you stick us with Ray Comfort and you take Buzz Aldrin?!?!? GRRRRRRR!!!!