Saturday, February 11, 2017

For external use only.
Avoid contact with eyes

The more you look at the self-promotive career of Dottori Gatti and Monanari, the stranger it looks; it is a fractal rabbit-hole made of smaller rabbit-holes. Like looking at your hand, I mean, have you ever really looked at it?

A discovery from which they derive great pride -- for it recurs frequently in their oeuvre (if nowhere else) -- is "Burning semen disease". This is

a) The name for my William Burroughs tribute band.
b). The worst super-power EVAH. I am imagining a graphic novel based on this premise so you don't have to.
c). James Havoc's next book.

Right: via John Coulthart @feuilleton

Evidently nanoparticles are such a virulent contaminant that not only are they biopersistent, but the male body expels them with sperm, exposing sexual partners and adjacent bystanders to the scourge. This is good news, for it means that nanoparticulate exposure can be CURED by repeated masturbation until they are all purged from the system. But Gatti and Montanari are Cowper-gland-glass-half-empty people and they focus on the need for condoms in the interim; this is not just an individual tragedy -- the sanctity of the family unit is at risk!

Fortunately baby-making is still possible by filtering out the nanoparticles from the incendiary secretions and leaving only the spermatozoa.

It is not recorded whether women can similarly exude toxic secretions as a method of ridding their bodies of nanopollution. Perhaps it is a male-only feature.

"Contaminated Spouse" is now the name of my 'Nurse with Wound' tribute band.

 Thx Mauro Toffanin at Ocasapiens


Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

The Burning Semen festival never quite took off... buncha wankers in the desert. Sad.

Smut Clyde said...

As always, there is a relevant Oglaf.

H. Rumbold, Master Barber said...

Minor quibble: Burroughs tends to use the term "jissom".

Mauro Toffanin said...

You're welcome Clyde.

The Lulz is strong with this Stefano Montanari.

p.s.: I have another funny story about Gatti-Montanari that will rock you socks off; I'll share all the details with you as soon as I have collected all the evidence :D