Poison's in my bloodstream,poison's in my pride [#2]

Look at Figure 7. Just look at it.

The electron microscopy depicts:
1. Life-rings, arrows and other debris from the submarine Proteus -- last seen shrunken to nanominiaturised size and injected into the bloodstream of a defecting scientist on a mission to break up a blood clot in his brain.¹ How it found its way from there into an ampoule of 'Repevax' vaccine is one of those mysteries.

2. Fossilised vertebrae from a very very small ichthyosaur. Possibly lined up by an equally small predatory cephalopod according to its aesthetic preferences.
Spontaneous nano-miniaturisation is becoming increasingly common nowadays, on account of too many fictive portrayals of such events, focussing the morphogenic flux. Here at Riddled Research Laboratory we suspect that the missing flight MH370 underwent spontaneous nano-miniaturisation. Readers should donate generously to the GiveALittle crowd-sourcing fund to buy us an Environmental Scanning Electron Microscope, so we can start scanning vaccines in the hope of finding its remains.


3. Mammalian red blood corpuscles in an implausible range of sizes, maintaining their biconcave morphology despite dehydration inna vacuum.

Dottori Gatti and Montanari favour Theory 3, and featured it in their recent academical manuscript "New Quality-Control Investigations on Vaccines: Micro- and Nanocontamination", before they paid the skeezy little CamelCased scammers at 'MedCrave' to plunk it on a website in the guise of a real peer-reviewed piece of scholarship.²

If their electron-spectroscopy element probes detected any iron compounds in the putative RBCs, the authors do not record the fact, being too occupied by searching the nano-particulate vaccine contaminants for vanadium, chrome, tungsten and much much else. They were also intent on replicating cover art from Van Der Graaf Generator albums, if their Figure 1 is any guide.

It is hard to fathom why Gatti and Montanari were shocked, SHOCKED to find nanoparticles in vaccine samples, as they have prior experience with particles turning up everywhere they look. So far including blood from leukemia patients,* blood filtrates from thombosis patients,³ aborted fetuses, Gulf War veterans, bread, and biscuits. And ice-cream, Mandrake, children's ice-cream!

Chemtrails are probably involved, and geo-engineering. However, Montanari has shown little enthusiasm for the "government mind-control nano-computers" explanation for chemtrails, so more militant members of the Italian Watch-the-Skies fraternity are inclined to dismiss him as a puppet or cats-paw of the Establishment Conspiracy, or even a cats-paw wearing a puppet.

Could not find image of cat with
hand-puppet so stole from Oglaf

This particulate omnipresence is convenient for Gatti in her scientifical speciality of Nano-diagnostics, which is her own invention, free from competitors to cast shade upon her discoveries. Even FBI forensic expert-witnesses envy her ability to find nanoparticles that confirm her theory of cause of death, in every nanoautopsy she conducts.

Anyway, the report fed into the human centipede of Alt-Med / conspiratorial-ideation websites and is emerging from the anti-vaxx pukefunnels. So a fuller understanding of the underlying personalities may be useful. For that, we must ride the Riddled time machine all the way back to 2006... where we find Gatti & Montanari complaining that the jackbooted bully-boys of academic thuggery had barred their access to the EM at the University of Modena, which had previously provided their nano-forensic capability. Outcry ensued, and a public fund-raising appeal (led by comedian / activist Beppo Grillo), to raise €378,000 for a new EM that would allow the couple to continue their vital work of tracking the toxic emissions from incinerators and dirty industries across Italy. With the Carlo Bortolani foundation administering the moneys in the interests of transparency.

Italian politics: Weirder than you imagine

No-one could have predicted that the whole deal would go pear-shaped. Recriminations... a privately-published book from Montanari, exposing Grillo's secret life as a skinwalker... mutual accusations and defamation suits... an inquiry on the part of the Italian Senate, into misuse of a microscope bought through public donations... that level of "pear-shaped".

It is all so dramatic as to require a dramaturgic production, as enacted below by the Riddled Amateur Dramatic Society, with Space-Time Eddie, Swearing Bob and Greenish Hugh as the Italian Senators (and Louis Cart-horse in the part of the Senate benches). Another Kiwi and I are co-chairing the meeting, after a short fracas for possession of the Blue Öyster Cult Emblem of Chairmanship which is why it is now in two pieces. Snuggles The Dog of Doom, Milton the Griffin and Quacky the Crow are filling the roles of legal representatives for Gatti-Montanari, Beppo Grillo and the Carlo Bartolini foundation respectively.

An exact transcript of the hearing is not available but the following is near enough:

Milton the Griffin [for the Carlo Bartolini foundation]: Snuggles is a lick arse. Also, Gatti and Montanari are grifters, profiting from their new toy by selling meaningless body-fluid tests to hypochondriacs through their "Nanodiagnostics Ltd" company, rather than the promised environmental advocacy.

Quacky the Crow [for Beppo Grillo]: Snuggles is a loud-mouth nimrod and total numptie. Also my client is totally not a skinwalker.

Snuggles the Dog of Doom [for Dottori Gatti & Montanari]: The Carlo Bartolini foundation pocketed all the money from the fundraising. Grillo just raised all that money for my clients as a way of exploiting them for political gain. Milton is a toffee nosed git and Quacky is a self-righteous blowhard.

Thx Orac, Skeptical Raptor, Ocasapiens & commenters

Bonus Alternative Title:

I'm after rebellion
I'll settle for lies

-------------------------------------------------

1. Year-old rumours that del Toro is working on a re-make of Fantastic Voyage are all very well, but I'll believe it when it happens.

2. The MedCrave cabal are low-life trash even by the standards of parasitical publishing. All praise the Wayback Machine, which archived an instructive discussion thread about them.

One notes that Gatti is on the Board of Editors of “Journal of Nanomedicine Research”, another journal-shaped jizz-mop from the MedCrave Augean Stable. Which is to say, she and Montanari are not victims of the scam, they are part of it.

* I was intrigued to read "Nanobiointeraction of particulate matter in the blood circulation", in which the Gatti-Montanari team conclude that

The particulate matter (engineered or nanosized by-products) identified in the blood has probably an environmental origin, but some chemical compositions may belong to nanotechnological-surfaced implants.

Chemtrails? Or anal-probing aliens? Inquiring minds would like to know.

3. "Patient consent" is not mentioned in the report and perhaps is unnecessary under Italian law. The claims might be more convincing, and less redolent of incompetence, if it were not for the authors' conviction that tungsten and wolfram are different elements.