Tuesday, August 20, 2019

Cocklecarrot said afterwards, 'I am hoping that my next case will not include these tiresome little gentlemen. I think I am about due for a bit of straightforward stuff, without all these distractions and fooleries.'

It is spring in the Southern Bloggisphere, and time to set out the Stupid Traps, in the hope of catching some fresh Stupid to augment the diet of preserved Stupid - dried, frozen, fermented and smoked - that has sustained us through the cruel months of winter.

And who should blunder into the trap but David Noakes, a reliable source of Riddled material on account of his GcMAF-related activities! Please enjoy this Daily Fail report from Southwark Crown Court, transcribed and edited by devotees of Beckett's dramaturgy so that each paragraph contains at most one sentence, transforming each peroration from Judge Loraine-Smith into a lengthy passage of dialog. Ideally it would have been written in the style of Beachcomber, with Loraine-Smith in the role of the long-suffering Justice Cocklecarrot, but FSM does not love us enough for that.
‘There are problems and Mr Noakes has problems,’ continued the judge, adding that he had seen psychiatric evidence that the defendant is mentally unwell.
‘The reason he is depressed is because he has these extradition proceedings. As I understand it, the French authorities are seeking to extradite Mr Noakes.’
The court heard that Noakes had sold vials of the blood product to customers in France and that investigators in that country were seeking to prosecute him.
The judge explained that further issues had also arisen because Noakes had refused to deal with his legal representatives.
The defendant said: ‘I have not been engaging with my solicitors.’
Judge Loraine-Smith replied: ‘I know and I wish you would, you have very real problems. You need experienced lawyers to deal with the legal system as it is rather than the legal system as others wish is was.’
He explained that he had received a document from Noakes that attempted to throw the case out of court.
The judge said the document contained references to ‘Deuteronomy, The Book of Malachi and The Stone of Scone - it has nothing to do with this case.
‘I am not going to say what I think about it, it would be impolite if I did. This, and I have carefully read it, does not help you - it is of no relevance at all.'
‘I think your case has been hijacked,’ added the judge.
‘It has nothing to do with an English court of law.’
Noakes responded that he did not think his solicitors were acting in his best interest.
‘Under duress, they got me to plead guilty. Three of them pounced on me with no warning'.
He fought the Lore, but the Lore won! Noakes' 50-odd supporters - some in the courtroom but mostly milling around outside - will have to stand in for the Twelve Red-Bearded Dwarfs (in these debased times they are the best we can expect).*
He appeared at Southwark Crown Court today flanked by roughly fifty supporters to face a confiscation hearing to allow the court to recoup his criminal earnings.
The hearing was delayed after supporters were stopped by security from entering the already packed courtroom.
Shouts of ‘If there’s a cure for terminal cancer in this room I want it,’ and, ‘There is a lot of rigour in the judging exams lack of justice in there,’ could be heard through the door.
Judge Nicholas Loraine-Smith told the angry crowd: ‘None of you are doing Mr Noakes any favours.
‘Last year Mr Noakes pleaded guilty to some offences, I then took over the case and I had a lengthy Newton hearing in which I heard a lot of evidence about Mr Noakes.
‘I sentenced him to 15 months in prison and he has served that sentence.
‘The case is not about GcMAF. It is my duty to say what money can be got back.’
One woman in the public gallery walked out midway through the hearing, shouting: ‘I’m not listening to this bulls**t.’
‘Well, there we are,’ the judge replied, ‘I know a lot of people feel very strongly and sincerely about GcMAF.'
It is heartwarming that so many people will rally against Injustice, and for the worthy cause of "Letting a multimillionaire hang on to the proceeds of fraud". Our estimation at Riddled is that

  • one third of them were Freeman-on-the-Land Common-Law-Court bumblefucks, hoping to see Noakes invoke their supra-legal theories and Ontological proofs and thereby force the consensus English legal structure to dissolve in a puff of logic.
  • One third were raggle-taggle Truthers and conspiracists, knowing sweet-fuck-all about the background of Noakes' crimes but compelled by a gaes to support whatever the opposite of the real-world evidence-based perspective might be.
  • One third had restraining orders preventing them from abusing their children any more, and their sympathy for Noakes springs from the fact that he, like them, is about to be deprived of his property.
They have all been herded together by Ian R. Crane, conspiracist impresario and aspirant Pope of Paranoia, who has a bona-fide stake in Noakes’ legal tribulations because if the Law can confiscate all of Noakes' assets obtained by fraud then no scammer is safe.

"CALL TO ACTION : GcMAF Awareness Day - 11th SEPT 2019"

Crane prefers to issue Papal Bulls to his audience from a field somewhere in England. I assume this is to protect himself from chemtrails and 5G mobile telephony. The additional roaming sheep in the background are not necessarily a comment on his opinion of that audience.
[H/t Dora]

* The court had to be cleared owing to the roars of ribald laughter which greeted the appearance in the witness-box of the twelve red-bearded dwarfs all in a heap. Their names were read out amid growing uproar. The names appeared to be: Sophus Barkayo-Tong, Amaninter Axling, Farjole Merrybody, Guttergorm Guttergormpton, Badly Oronparser, Churm Rincewind, Cleveland Zackhouse, Molonay Tubilderborst, Edeledel Edel, Scorpion de Rooftrouser, Listenis Younghaupt, Frums Gillygottle.
Cocklecarrot: Are these genuine names?
A Dwarf; No, m'worship.
Cocklecarrot: Then what's your name?
Dwarf: Bogus, m'ludship.
Cocklecarrot: No, your real name.
Dwarf: My real name is Bogus, your excellency.
(At this point the court had to be cleared)

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