Sunday, February 21, 2010

Gross dereliction

Fulk-Nerra the third Count of Anjou was a bit of a scoundrel. Whenever his crimes of violence or blasphemy accumulated too high to be ignored even in the Frankish gentry, he would be ordered to the Holy Land as a penance, to cleanse his soul by kissing the various holy relics. During Fulk-Nerra's second pilgrimage to Jerusalem in 1008, a number of relics disappeared mysteriously from various churches around Jerusalem, including the preserved head of John the Baptist. However, far be it for us to bandy about unproven speculation and wild accusations.

The head has recently been re-discovered in the Riddled staffroom. At this very moment, Another Kiwi is examining it for DNA traces. Preliminary forensic examination suggests that in his lifetime John the Baptist was heavily impregnated with tannins, caffeine and theophylline.

It is not yet clear whether the comic ashtray we found in the staffroom cupboard is actually a relic, but we're open to offers anyway.

7 comments:

mikey said...

Apparently Fulk-Nerra had a daughter, Ermengardge of Anjou (Duh) who married Geoffery, the count of Gatinaise and had a son who went on to be Fulk IV, The Ill-Tempered.

Now first, that's a GREAT title. Hmmm. mikey the pissed. Yep. Groovin on it.

Y'know, I'm kind of thinking that here in America we need to adopt some of this Lineage naming convention.

John the Bootlegger had a son, John the Sailor who went on to be a great leader, and another son, Edward the Drunkard, who, well, not so much.

Prescott the Noble had a son, George the Mediocre, who became a great leader, and had a son, George the Stupid, who also rose to a position of great power with the help of his father's friends.

This is pretty cool...

J— said...

It is not yet clear whether the comic ashtray we found in the staffroom cupboard is actually a relic, but we're open to offers anyway.

A graphic representation of what English soccer team would like to do with the Hand of God and Maradona's other hand.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I looks like ZRM got to the head of JtB before you found it, what with the missing brane and all.

Zombie, quit bogarting the relics!

Another Kiwi said...

Extensive DNA research on the tea pot has found that the teapot is the skull of Mrs. Robbins the 'Riddled' Tea Lady.
She does not seem to missing it much and that is a surprise to us all but the Planarium Taq don't lie.
She is certainly older than she looks and it will be interesting to get her views on the Jesus incident.

fish said...

Whenever his crimes of violence or blasphemy accumulated too high to be ignored even in the Frankish gentry,

My first tipoff that this was fiction, as it is clearly impossible.

Jennifer said...

Interesting neti pot.

Substance McGravitas said...

Potheads are funny. In writing on the internet.