Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Gardening with AK

It is always the same when it comes to time to harvest the Peasemold Nonesuch apples, a variety specifically developed by Taq polymerase research in the laboratories of "Riddled Gentenics" (no spell checkers back in the day).
From no one wanting to help old AK in pruning, tying up, binding over and wintlestippling, suddenly its all hands on board for harvesting. 
This photo shows the sort of problem we get, people dressing up in togas (for some bloody reason that no one has ever explained to me), tigris explaining to me why an apple is like the fecking universe, merc and Smut having an argument about where the apples get stacked and how many go in each box, Evangeline van Holsteren and her idiot boy friend picking FROM THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ORCHARD even though it has been explained to them, seven times and Greenish Hugh not getting the concept of picking the apples and leaving the tree behind.
No wonder I have thrown my tools down, possibly it would be better to take them right away from me.
But we will crush the Peasemolds in the Gruntfuttock and make cider that becomes the base of this years Christmas Ale.
Int nature grand?

34 comments:

merc said...

58 to a box, no argument.

ckc (not kc) said...

Your garden seems very crowded.

vacuumslayer said...

Not wanting to seem dumb, I googled "winterstippling"

Still feel pretty dumb. Though I love that word.

Gardening in togas is dumb. You should do it in velour track suits. Everyone knows this.

vacuumslayer said...

Oops...I wanna be louise.

Another Kiwi said...

Oh Louise, that is a classic.
ckc (not kc) the house is more crowded.
merc, always pushing the envelope or apple box, gotta love it

mikey said...

Y'know, AK, I gotta say, the carpets in your orchard are quite lovely.

Elegant, even.

W/V isn't just a dog. He's barkiest

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I sure could go for a Gen-and-tenic right about now...

Smut Clyde said...

Not wanting to seem dumb, I googled "winterstippling"

Wintlestippling is like pleaching but sounds more technical.

Smut Clyde said...

Also, I see what AK does there.

merc said...

For contractual and other reasons I am not available for comment.

Substance McGravitas said...

But we will crush the Peasemolds in the Gruntfuttock and make cider that becomes the base of this years Christmas Ale.

Sooo...there's an apple for that.

merc said...

Microsoft wont touch it.

bampug, another just awesome word.

Another Kiwi said...

You know I'm an old coot, so there's an apple for that went over my head for about 10 minutes. You MONSTA, sir

Jennifer said...

Too much explaining makes the apples bitter...

merc said...

...but but what's explainin'

saphole, rockin this wordverf

fish said...

I rate for Formation Goat Nagering.

fish said...

Sooo...there's an apple for that.

Microsoft's ale is filled with bugs. And not the kind you see after drinking it.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Silly fish!

OF COURSE you don't see the bugs after you drink 'em.
~

fish said...

Thunder has obviously never sampled the Christmas Ale.

tigris said...

This apple is like unto the universe in that both have worms in them. I'm just saying maybe you should consider making Christmas mezcal is all.

mikey said...

Ummm, you wouldn't happen to have some sodium thiopental we could borrow, would you?

I'm asking for a friend in Georgia..

vacuumslayer said...

Sooo...there's an apple for that.

That made me laugh.


Hey, AK...don't feel bad. It took me MONTHS, literally MONTHS to figure out that Lawnguylander at SN was supposed to be like "Long Islander." Months. *facepalm*

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

iterally MONTHS to figure out that Lawnguylander at SN was supposed to be like "Long Islander."

Tee hee!

Of course, if you had ever heard a Lawn Guyland accent, it would have been easier.
~

Smut Clyde said...

Am I the only one who's worried about the giant sea-urchin looming up over the horizon?

merc said...

Them money grubbing Kina.

Substance McGravitas said...

Send the giant sea urchin to the giant sea workhouse. Those things eat a fortune in gruel.

vacuumslayer said...

Smut, you don't have giant sky urchins in NZ? Geez. Everything IS weird over there.

Smut Clyde said...

Also keep it away from the giant enteropneust worm.

Another Kiwi said...

We had Giant Sky Urchins but the Homeless Persons and Urchins (Rugby World Cup inc.)Removal Act was badly worded and passed into law at 2am after Casual Friday Colonic and Kareoke Night in Parliament.

Whale Chowder said...

I say to Smut, suck it in, tan it or cover it up. Nobody wants to see your potbelly.

Smut Clyde said...

They have killed the great sky urchin
Who spawned between the stars.

Soft White Underbellies are an internet tradition.

Smut Clyde said...

Also I feel obliged to point out that VS's avatar bears a sinister resemblance to the pluteus form of echinoderm larva.

Another Kiwi said...

I won't be at work today. I went out with the echinoderms and got pluted.

fish said...

Happens to us all my friend.