Sunday, June 23, 2013

World Cup of Short Form of Cricket Roundup with Bayern Munich Goalkeeper, Manuel Neuer

MN: Guten abend, one and all. Well what a shallapaloozer weekend of sport is has been! Here to talk about the World Cup of cricket is Another Kiwi.
AK: Hola Manolito
MN: Manuel, I am German, what is wrong with your voice?
AK: The muffins here are sub-par Magenta, sub par! You would not read about it.
MN: Manuel, these are hospitality muffins, you should not try to fit as many in your mouth as you can.
AK: There wasn't a sign on them saying "Please don't eat these as we are saving them for good guests, like the Prime Minster. Put them back bad AK".
MN: Perhaps we assume too much that you are capable of feeding yourself?
AK: I don't know Manny, I just don't know. [CRASH]
MN: You have unwound the chair and it has fallen over.
AK: The chairs here are as bad as the muffins, Micky. I expect the Prime Minster gets a Chaise Longue.
MN: Manuel, no he sits still and answers questions, some guests are odd like that and answer questions.
AK: Ask away Manfred
MN: OK, why did the NZ team not do so well at this tournament? People thought they might do better.
AK: Well Mantoo, they had the baggage of good expectations after beating England at something or other recently and this coupled with the pitches being all wet meant that they couldn't produce the flowing brand of those other games and some of the other sides were not England and therefore good at cricket.
MN: Wer ist dieser Mantoo? Some dolphin?
AK: Also the team had the weight of people thinking that they might be not bad at cricket, what with being in the national team, and not doing anything but practising all day and so they probably felt alienated, Manfeild, in a foreign country with only English speaking people everywhere and not knowing who they were unless they did know who they were then they would have unfair expectations of them.
MN: Ach ich sehe, those who did not know them, did not know them too much and those that did know them also did not know them well enough.
AK; Essentially and in a nutshell, Mandrake, yes they were too unknowingly known.
MN: Manuel, what about the final of this tournament when the 50 overs version of the game got shortened down to 20 overs due to rain.
AK: Rain Mantell, Rain? I think you'll find that the International Cricket Council got the rain in to publicise the shorter version of the game which they want to take over from this shorter version of the game.
MN: What are we to make of the bad from of the Australians?
AK: Bad form is bad form Magnus and we do not accept peeing on people, ever. Even if their bottoms are on fire and there is nothing else around to put it out with. Which, I'm told, happens in Australia sometimes.
MN: No they did not play well. If they had won one of their games, NZ might have gone further in the tournament.
AK: Well Mingo the Aussies have some problems what with a feral bunch of Christian loonies going to win their federal election in October so I suppose they were thinking of other things than helping their little chums from across the Tasman. Also the wickets were that way.. with the.. [snoring]
MN: Well thanks to AK for his insightful thoughts on the Shorter Shorter form of the Game.


Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Well Mingo the Aussies have some problems what with a feral bunch of Christian loonies going to win their federal election in October

Ken Ham may have to make his triumphant return.

H. Rumbold, Master Barber said...

But can feral Christian loonies slog a leg-spinner to off-cover off a sticky wicket?

mikey said...

Seems to me if the Kiwis are going to be good at a game named after a bug, they should play Weta. The Mexican team could be called the Weta-Zetas. Weta bloggers could go all Weta-Meta. Washed-up American athletes could go upside-down and change their name to Weta World Peace. And the Aussies could claim they were Weta-Bettah...

Hamish Mack said...

I am only surprised that the short form of the short form of the game has not been renamed Jiminy Cricket.


Substance McGravitas said...

Also the team had the weight of people thinking [...]

Somehow you summarized exactly what I thought about the New Zealand cricket whatsit.