World Cup of Short Form of Cricket Roundup with Bayern Munich Goalkeeper, Manuel Neuer

MN: Guten abend, one and all. Well what a shallapaloozer weekend of sport is has been! Here to talk about the World Cup of cricket is Another Kiwi.
AK: Hola Manolito
MN: Manuel, I am German, what is wrong with your voice?
AK: The muffins here are sub-par Magenta, sub par! You would not read about it.
MN: Manuel, these are hospitality muffins, you should not try to fit as many in your mouth as you can.
AK: There wasn't a sign on them saying "Please don't eat these as we are saving them for good guests, like the Prime Minster. Put them back bad AK".
MN: Perhaps we assume too much that you are capable of feeding yourself?
AK: I don't know Manny, I just don't know. [CRASH]
MN: You have unwound the chair and it has fallen over.
AK: The chairs here are as bad as the muffins, Micky. I expect the Prime Minster gets a Chaise Longue.
MN: Manuel, no he sits still and answers questions, some guests are odd like that and answer questions.
AK: Ask away Manfred
MN: OK, why did the NZ team not do so well at this tournament? People thought they might do better.
AK: Well Mantoo, they had the baggage of good expectations after beating England at something or other recently and this coupled with the pitches being all wet meant that they couldn't produce the flowing brand of those other games and some of the other sides were not England and therefore good at cricket.
MN: Wer ist dieser Mantoo? Some dolphin?
AK: Also the team had the weight of people thinking that they might be not bad at cricket, what with being in the national team, and not doing anything but practising all day and so they probably felt alienated, Manfeild, in a foreign country with only English speaking people everywhere and not knowing who they were unless they did know who they were then they would have unfair expectations of them.
MN: Ach ich sehe, those who did not know them, did not know them too much and those that did know them also did not know them well enough.
AK; Essentially and in a nutshell, Mandrake, yes they were too unknowingly known.
MN: Manuel, what about the final of this tournament when the 50 overs version of the game got shortened down to 20 overs due to rain.
AK: Rain Mantell, Rain? I think you'll find that the International Cricket Council got the rain in to publicise the shorter version of the game which they want to take over from this shorter version of the game.
MN: What are we to make of the bad from of the Australians?
AK: Bad form is bad form Magnus and we do not accept peeing on people, ever. Even if their bottoms are on fire and there is nothing else around to put it out with. Which, I'm told, happens in Australia sometimes.
MN: No they did not play well. If they had won one of their games, NZ might have gone further in the tournament.
AK: Well Mingo the Aussies have some problems what with a feral bunch of Christian loonies going to win their federal election in October so I suppose they were thinking of other things than helping their little chums from across the Tasman. Also the wickets were very...in that way.. with the.. [snoring]
MN: Well thanks to AK for his insightful thoughts on the Shorter Shorter form of the Game.

Herring do

The new RADS production of "Ye Merry Knaves of Sherwode Foreste and the Book Eaters" is looking promising despite the presence of Evangeline van Holsterin's idiot boyfriend in the pivotal role of Avaricias the Chardcoal burner. He who says the crucial line "I thinkst it is not a Skwirl in his trouser!" which reveals the book eating friar to be a frier of words.
Evangeline van Holsterin has assumed the role of Luxuria of the Satin Sheets, which ain't half expensive even though her vile nephew Throgmorton got them cheap up at the Hospital. Look at how carefully tigris is rolling the sheets up in her role of Superbia Queen of Hearts. I think she should do farmyard impersonations in this role but the punters don't like it, apparently.
Smut reprises his breakthrough role as Robin Falsenose and you can see how seriously he takes it by the two spare false noses on his belt. Note also the cunning arrangement at the top of boots for liquid refreshments during his punishing 35 minutes on stage in the first half, when he wins the archery contest by splitting a herring six ways.
The pivotal scene shown here is the unmasking of Bro Murdoch the book eater. This is followed by an energetic rendition of chasing him around the theatre whacking him with phone books. It is a laugh-a-minute extravaganza and there are smoked fish on crackers at half-time.

Question for the esteemed readership

Yesterday, whilst out driving and comparing other people's houses to ours (they think they're so classy with glass windows) we were overtaken in a 19-year-old-male sort of way by the standard menacing 4WD so beloved of my fellow New Zilders. This one, however did not have the "THE EARTH IS COOLING" sticker on it but did have a Christian fish symbol with a Star of David inside it. My wife and I have been to Wellington on two occasions so are considered well informed in these parts but cannot remember having seen this. Does anyone know what it signifies? A virtual chocolate fish to the helpfulest pixie

Barkeep a pint of your finest...male horse essence

We wishes, oh yes we duz, that we was makin' this all uppsydaisy. But we ain't be. Bleedin hoomans are lookig at gettin' some o' the good ssstuff.
Here bee t'wholly greedyful stealin barsterds storry.

Kerslake said some of the shots would be flavoured, and there might even be a possibility punters could request a particular horse.

Naryone cood think loik a 'ooman. Pertikkuler 'orse!!!
Allus one th' saym at t'cream jugg.