Sunday, November 23, 2014

Extraordinary Meeting of the Time Machine Authorisation Committee.

Spacetime Eddie announced that a special request had been made for extensive use of the Time Machine.

Mr. Another Kiwi vouchsafed that if it was about the Pope swapping thing, no one noticed once they worked out that an Orang was a vegetarian. He said that even then people had said it was quite funny and actually progressive.

Spacetime Eddy said it was not the Vatican. He said that the arrangement they had come to with the Vatican and a planet made of diamonds had resulted in a good relationship with them.

Mr Smut Clyde opined that the instantly aged Riddled Dry White wine project had been a success and if it was people moaning about excessive Terpene content they should realise that phylloxera free wines tasted like that and too bad.

Spacetime Eddie said no it bleeding well was not the Remuera Wine Club who would be first against the wall when the revolution came. He said it was the government.

Evangeline van Holsterin enquired about was it the Internal Revenue, because she thought she had arranged things in that silly old episode which was a simple oversight.

Spacetime Eddie said could people shut up, it was always like this, people wittering on. 

Mr Another Kiwi said that if he didn’t like democracy he could bugger off back to the 1930’s.

Spacetime Eddie said no. The request was from the Prime Minister’s Office because the Prime Minister needed to “fix up history” a bit.

tigris said ho ho ho. He’s a bloody fool.

Mr Another Kiwi opined that time travel was for science and not politics and we couldn’t be mucking about with timelines if there wasn’t compensation.

Smut Clyde observed that the compensation would have to be bloody enormous for the amount of jiggery pokery needed to cover up the Prime Minsters blundering around.

Spacetime Eddie said that the statement in question was the PM saying that in his view the settlement ofNZ was peaceful 

tigris said oh just a quick job, then.

Smut Clyde opined that getting rid of 1860-1880 might cause a few problems.

Mr Another Kiwi said would Mr. Key like unicorns and rainbows as the original inhabitants of NZ

 Space Time Eddie said that he was getting a negative vibe from this meeting and wondered if anyone had thought of the political kudos. 

Another Kiwi said the PM could bog off.

 This was greeted unanimously favourably around the table.

Evangeline van Holsterin said that it was time for the Apple brandy blending day and Throgmorton was delivering the apples because Old Williamsons apples had matured sufficiently. 

The meeting was adjourned to prepare barrels.


ckc (not kc) said... my view the diet of worms was not up to a burger (here I stand - let me know when you've done with that seat)

Another Kiwi said...

Personally I have only ever seen a diet of worms up to a Blackbird and I do not like the look of it.

Yastreblyansky said...

Perhaps Mr. Key was referring to the 13th century, when the tattooed settlers displaced only a few complaisant moa? If you do break out the time machine, that's where you should send him in any event.

rhwombat said...

"...a few complaisant moa?" Complaisent? Moa? The buggers were 3m tall - even if they had the general approach of a kakapo (which I doubt - probably more like the obstreperous stupidity of a cassowary) they could kill you by sitting down suddenly. Perhaps you meant moai?

rhwombat said...

Please forgive my shifty vowels. Bloody Orstayan eccent.