Saturday, November 28, 2015

Referendumb

This 'flag referendum' is a thing. Employees of NZ Corp have the opportunity to choose a new logo to emblazon our exports and backpacks. A short-list of four options was drawn up by a committee who invited submissions from the public, ignored them all, and proposed clipart variations on the Pry Minster's fondness for ferns (the committee was bypassed by a last-minute legislative addition of the fifth option in an attempt to reduce the ridicule).
None of the options on offer appear to be fuligin deepest black, so you know what you can do with them.

13 comments:

Yastreblyansky said...

As national motto, I propose "One good fern deserves another."

rhwombat said...

Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer,
We'll keep the black flag flying here...

Another Kiwi said...

Smut has read the instructions incorrectly. You have to be Full o' Gin to vote. With no swastika option 65% of the population will stare dumbly at the paper for 30 minutes and then eat the marker crayons.

rhwombat said...

AK: As I understand it, that is the whole purpose of the exercise: preserving the Onion Jack and close similarity to the Oz Rag, thereby allowing those of us from Oz to adopt shortened vowels and pretend not to be responsible for inflicting Toady Abbott on the planet. Now what are you blokes going to do about that awful dirge of an anthem?

Another Kiwi said...

There has been much humourous talk of a new New Zild anthem but Pink Floyd has refused to allow the entire "Dark Side of the Moon" to be used. Pry Mincer Key seems to be very fond of "I'm too sexy for my shirt" so I imagine it will be that.
Youse guys totes own Tones. When he has his 2GB programme he will become Straya's creepy uncle.

rhwombat said...

Well, those years in the seminary may finally pay off. Actually, I believe that the alien cestode that was mistaken for his tongue is so disgusted by his fall that it is now looking for another host.

Smut Clyde said...

The head of the Middle-Management-Mediocrities Commission for Picking Johnkey-Approved Flags is one John Burrows. He encountered the ingratitude of the masses, who do not appreciate the options on offer -- they do not deserve his fine design choices, and do not understand their patriotic obligation to support one of them -- and his whining reached a heroic pitch.

“I hope there won’t be much gerrymandering because I think people have got to see what an important occasion this is.

“It’s the one chance people have in their lifetimes to do it. So to actually waste a vote for political or other reasons I think will appear to most people as unpalatable and unattractive.”


By "gerrymandering" he meant "strategic voting", and by "waste a vote" he meant "not support", so you can see that he is an expert on the democratic process.

Another Kiwi said...

There is also the hilarity of at least one of the flag designs being on the packets of various New Zild exports including plastic party plates. "Everytime you eat sausages at a BBQ you salute the flag"

Smut Clyde said...

Has anyone heard from the Flag Change Panel lately? One minute they were explaining how great the four options were, and how bad all the others were, and how adding a fifth option (just because it was less unpopular) would ruin the integrity of the process; next minute there was the fifth-option legislation, and the panel fell silent. It is as if they received a firm message to shut up and stop reminding people of why they loathe the entire exercise in dicking around.

Another Kiwi said...

I imagine they have have been whisked off to important tasks in far flung parts of the globe WHERE THERE AREN'T PHONES OR INTERWEBS and are giving flag choosing lectures to apprentice dictator classes.


Was this flag considered? No it was not.

rhwombat said...

AK:
Was this flag considered? No it was not.
I can only assume that insufficient cannabinoids were available at the time.

As for places WHERE THERE AREN'T PHONES OR INTERWEBS (unless Rupert says so): have you considered looking in Luritja country on the West Island?

Another Kiwi said...

We mean no harm to the Luritja people and given the climate they probably don't need anymore hot air. How about the Marianas Trench?

rhwombat said...

Well one particular Kiwi has runs on the board about future Oz flags already.