Monday, August 7, 2017

I know they'll find her some day
They find them all that way
After the thaw in springtime
The snow melts away

Your ever-lovin' Uncle Smut has been busy in the Stupid Fields, collecting a circus cavalcade of science-shaped advertisements for live-cell med-scam products. All issuing from Dmitry Klokol and the other talking-bear prostitutes at 'Stellar Biomolecular Innovations', and then stovepiped through parasite junk journals in the hope of limning the advertised products in a warm light of credibility and scholarly rectitude. Thereby bringing the whole story into the ambit of Riddled, as it touches on all the usual Riddled obsessions (though not including goats, bicycles or trebuchets), so pay attention, there may be a snap test at the end.

The gravitas-bestowing pukefunnel publishers in question regard "bottom of the barrel" as a far-off aspirational goal. Gaze with wonder upon the understated web-design elegance of [I am not making this up] Basic Research Journals and Modern Research Publishers, with "Efficacy of the MFIII placenta extracts softgels supplementation" and "Efficacy of renal precursor stem cells in management of chronic kidney disease" respectively!

and an International Journal, with "Biohormonal Therapyin", while Lawarence Press announces "European Wellness" (which is the new Swiss Biological Medicine).

"Lawarence" because all the easily-spelled Western-sounding first names had already been taken by Gavin Publishers, Herbert Open Access Journals, Austin Publishing Group, Henry Publishing, Jacobs Publishing and their elks ilk, in accordance with Hyderabad tradition.

Inevitably the list includes a spigot from OMICS, the Ur-Trash of mockademic publishing scammers; and another from iMedPub -- a CamelCased OMICS imprint set up for discerning fastidious customers who want to see their incompetent wibble in print but don't want to be smeared with the OMICS reek of mendacity.

The contribution from Klokol and his colleagues at SBI to OAText is left until last, in case any undispelled doubt lingers in your mind that perhaps their talking-bear prostitution is mixed with a trace of sincere delusion about the value of the products they pimp.
For after advertising injections of lamb-brain smoothies to cure autism (with adjuvant treatments in the form of GcMAF-Forte™ and Mito Organelle™ organ-specific peptide extracts), there is this:
The therapeutic modalities described in this article should be applied along with other holistic treatments, ie. electromagnetic therapy, detoxification, hyperbaric oxygenation, transcranial electrostimulation, cyclotronic ionic resonance, etc.
Lately we have been working on integrating quantum medicine technologies into our holistic protocols. One of it is RASHA Morphogenetic Harmonizer System, developed in USA (Nevada). It combines the brilliant technologies of Nikola Tesla, Antoine Priorie’ and Dr. Royal Rife into one integrative quantum self-healthcare system. The RASHA is controlled by one of the most advanced scalar and Rife frequency generating software technology. When operated and activated by the software, selected frequencies (transverse waves) are transmitted through the dual scalar spiral coils that are then pulsed into the custom plasma gas tube. Plasma can transform transverse waves into longitudinal, scalar waves. Additionally, plasmas can also create phase conjugate waves or time-reversed waves [30].
The RASHA Morphogenetic Harmonizer System is a three-fold approach system. The RASHA simultaneously harmonizes the two systems in the body concerned with prevention and management of a malady (immune system) and regeneration of the damaged cells from that said malady (cellular regenerative system). However, its main purpose is to reverse the mutations in the introns (or junk DNA) via reprogramming the morphogenetic encryption lattice of the introns [30].
No dilithium crystals! I am disappoint. But no-one who regurged this hairball of wordwooze onto a page could possibly take any of it seriously.

One is relieved to learn that none of these fetal live-cell extracts and organ transplants come from China and you should not believe everything you saw in 'Dumplings'.

Also the suppliers are adamant that the cells are not human in origin, but are sourced from lambles and bunnies and vegetals. Yes indeed, vegetal placenta peptides are a thing.

All one needs to know about this animal-cell injection grift is that it's a century old, and was sinking into merciful oblivion. Then a fresh seam of newly-moneyed but still-gullible suckers emerged in Asia, open to the magical-thinking appeal of a Vital-Essence Qi Energy substance pervasive in unborn animules in the manner of Phlogiston and Caloric... extractable from them... most importantly, purchasable.

For some reason this target demographic thinks highly of Swiss Private Clinics, so the branding is all about images of Alpine purity. My own knowledge of Swiss medical innovation was hitherto limited to journalism and documentaries from the 1970s about rejuvenating pineal-gland extracts [SPOILER ALERT: ends badly], or possibly starring Klaus Kinski.

I have now watched 'A Cure for Wellness', in which stolid young engineer Hans Castorp visits a relative in an Alpine sanatorium and is prevailed upon to remain in its feverish but intellectually-stimulating rarefied atmosphere for the next seven years of labour on the instruments of time, NO WAIT that was 'Magic Mountain'.¹

Alpine Sanatorium architecture

Anyway... 'Stellar Biomolecular Innovations' is simply a fuckpuppet for Lab-RMS, a Helvetian-themed company operating out of offices in Malaysia and Hong Kong. SBI boasts a prestigious European address in downtown Frankfurt, but An der Welle 4 is a popular location for virtual-office mail-forwarding services. Also too the company's phone number is Malaysian, while managerial responsibilities devolve upon a low-level office drone in Penampang, Sabah (Malaysia). By the same token, the sister website at European-Wellness is coy about domain registration details, but it operates out of Kuala Lumpur, sharing an IP address and a Nexgen server with several hundred equally scam-related domains.*

Rose [without bloom]
The beneficiaries of this revival tried hard for a while to conflate their juiced-fetus products with the stem-cell scamwagon. Two recurring names were Mike Chan and Michelle Wong -- not just co-authors of ersatz-academia advertisements, also proprietors of 'Fetal Cell Technologies International'.² But the bloom has left the stem-cell rose, and their emphasis is now on peptide gland extracts, encapsulating the juvenescent vital energies for mail-order home consumption (with the advantage of evading any regulatory persecution of actual clinics in Switzerland). So the acronym FCTI has been retconned to stand for 'Frontier Cytobiological Therapies International'.

Lab-RMS and MF-Plus and Lab-DOM all belong to a tangled bank of companies and websites and holding corporations, a colonial entity akin to coral polyps and pterobranch worms, budding and sloughing new instantiations until it becomes difficult to determine which one owns or is owned by another. For convenience one might speak of them collectively as 'NexGen'.

All that need only concern us because one of their products is GcMAF-Forte (of course it is!), with the Forté suffix to feed into the broader Eurotrash branding. A less badly-photoshopped example of their 2-mL 'Swiss Innovation Peptide Therapy' ampoules found its way into the hands of egregious bumblefuck Darren Fleming, and a few recensions of his webstore ago he was trying to resell it, A$3100 for 10.

A wee digression is in order. In canonical expansions of the GcMAF acronym, the origins of the Gc are lost in the mists of time. originally labelling a gene and the protein expressed by that gene (then extended to derivatives of that protein), because Ga and Gb were already taken. But this nomenclature lacked enough verisimilitude-giving narrative-debalding corroborative detail to satisfy the innovators at Lab-RMS, so they retconned a folk etymology and advertise their product as "granulocyte colony macrophage activating factor" (possibly hoping for confusion with GcSF -- a totes different protein).
Plating a Boiler
And someone in the class was paying attention! For a willingness to steal adopt other people's scams new ideas is one defining characteristic -- along with their classy nature -- of the individuals in the GcMAF industry. Thus the only other Interduct appearance of this bogus explanation comes from the suppliers of the new market leader "GcMAFplus", in the boilerplate advertising template they provide to their webstore retailers.
The Hylauronic acid in all our products is pharmaceutical grade. Ours is formulated with a much higher molecular mass than other similar products. This helps boost anti-viral activities and stimulate an endogenyous production of Granulocyte Colony Macrophage Activating Factor.
Current dealers are reactivatedwellness; purelivinghealthandwellness;, and³ Also newcomers, but they do not participate in the closed Facebook page devoted to the products, so their exact status is unclear. The actual producers of the GlycoPlus range of protein-enriched leprechaun-sperm cancer-curing skin-creams and liniments prefer to remain anonymous. They claim a New Zealand provenance for their cow-colostrum feedstock, and used a Hong Kong address in draft versions of their website.** You should remember this from previous Riddled coverage; if not, write out this webpage 100 times.
A Hyaluronan
Go back to that bit in the boilerplate where the lotions contain hyaluronic acid (a.k.a. hyaluronan): not just as an inert dilatant with useful viscosity properties, but as a synergistic ingredient in its own right. "Hyaluronans" sound like the alien antagonists in a mercifully-forgotten episode of OS Star Trek, but the stuff does exist, being a biological polymer found in synovial fluid, obtained at some expense by boiling  naked mole rats cartilaginous animal parts, or from vat-cultured bacteria. See, you learn stuff at Riddled. And credit for this innovation in GcMAF marketing again belongs to the creative Helvetasian gnomes at Lab-RMS / SBI:
GcMAF Forte by LAB RMS is formulated with high molecular weight hyaluronic acid (HMW-HA) to boost anti-cancer activities. HMW-HA has been linked to studies on longevity and cancer resistance in mammals. HMW-HA is found to stimulate the endogenous production of granulocyte colony macrophage activating factor (GcMAF) in healthy subjects and patients with cancer burden while low molecular weight HA does not have this immune powering effect.

Could the Lab-RMS people be the actual mystery suppliers of the GlycoPlus products?
HA! That is not a stupid idea, and we did briefly consider the possibility here at the Riddled Research Laboratory and Pterobranch Appreciation Club. But the GlycoPlus website is anonymised through an Icelandic IP address rather than the NexGen server, while the Lab-RMS crowd do not treat GcMAF as their core activity -- they have bodybuilding and sexual-performance enhancers to keep them busy -- and would have no reason for secrecy if they did. So simple "appropriation of someone else's idea" is more likely**

But what has become of Anni Diamond up in banana-bender country? Only two months ago she was the main outlet for the "GcMAFplus" range of leprechaun-sperm protein-enriched liniments (the same as the GlycoPlus range but rebranded for the Asia-Pacific market). But now her Disease Lapdancing and Wellness Products webstores have been scrubbed clean, like her on-line advertisements. She was last heard from on May 22 in the closed FaceBukkake groups devoted to promotion and sales of GcMAF products, for her Cancer Diva and Dancing with Disease FB identities are no more, leaving only fading reverberations in Goofle Cache.

Coo-ee Bono? (as they pronounce it in Oz). Lucy Corrigan (Tasmania Woman), a late arrival on the scene, is now the sole Australian supplier of the Products. In Melbourne, Darren Fleming remains unwilling or ineligible to retail the GcMAFplus / GlycoPlus range. The advent of those products back in March inspired him to heights of emulation, though of an aspirational form, with "Coming Soon" place-holders festooning his webstore for months [below left]. But look at the knock-off lotions that finally came into stock [right] just when Anni dropped out of competition! Definitely a suspect.

It would be very wrong for people to join those FB groups and then to spread the speculation that Anni has been removed from the scene by Big Pharma hitclans.
1. The immortalising eel theme in 'Cure for Wellness' comes from the undying carp in Aldous Huxley's 'After Many a Summer'. Trust me, I would not make these things up.

SBI researcher [artist's impression]
* The domains on the NexGen server are a kind of lucky-dip, where one probes at random for a sneak preview at coming products. "Exosome", for instance, is a Worship Word in real bioscience, but may have passed its peak of currency (as the research malpractice behind it becomes clear); thus it comes to the attention of the SBI researchers, as a Sciency Term to weave a new grift around.

And just look at GcMAF for Pets! Not intended for human use, because that might be illegal.

2. Wong and Chan's lists of accomplishments here are inspiring.

3. Margaret Wallace Shaver didn't get the memo about using "wellness" somewhere in the title.

MORE alpine sanatorium architecture!

** Speculation has focused on the Thomas Cosner who has been mentioned in bulletin-boards and FB chatter as "Senior Partner and Lab Owner" of GcMAFplus; and whether this is a nom-de-flume for Thomas Bradstreet, whose wife Candice sells their products through the webstore The boilerplate ad copy provided to the distributors by GcMAFplus is riddled with grotesque misspellings, but illiteracy is sadly widespread in the GcMAF industry and not restricted to Thomas and Candice. Candice Lee-Bradstreet also manages the FaceBukkake pages attributed to GlycoPlus and GlycoPlus Latin America, which is suggestive but not dispositive, for this is an activity such as any altruistic citizen might perform.

Candice's webstore and FB page agree that she uses the e-address Inquiry shows that another webstore at directs purchase orders and inquiries to the same address. This webstore being linked quite intimately to the producer's own website at, for they occupy the same Icelandic IP address. But this could be just coincidence.

1 comment:

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

The finest vegetal placentas are produced in Santa Mira. I hear the company has hired Donald Sutherland as a celebrity spokesperson.