Saturday, May 22, 2010

Now is the time the old gods return

Behold the Lord of Beasts, ancient and puissant mythic figure! In Minoan and Mycenaean iconography he is "portrayed with wild animals, mainly lions and exerting his power over them", but he is also prominent in the Scythian and Indus Valley cultures.

Marvel at his dominion over the untamed animal kingdom!


When Chreftien replied to the "God Wanted" advertisement he was expecting to become a Lord-of-Beasts figure. He wasn't paying attention to the small print, which is why he is now Lord of Plants, and no-one marvels at dominion over untamed foliage.

15 comments:

ckc (not kc) said...

...what about dominion over upstarts (go Chretien!)

mikey said...

Who do you suppose is the kind passerby that wrapped his meager junk in swaddling clothes?

Another Kiwi? While tramping in forgotten backwaters, did you perhaps take a napkin out of your bag from you barbequed shrimp whopper and wrap it around this poor sap's exposed weenie?

mikey said...

Meanwhile, Pashupati looks like nothing so much as the multi=faceted eyes of a small, dung-eating flying insect.

Ummm. Is this the part where we worship?

Smut Clyde said...

Now is the part where we sacrifice to the Insect God.

mikey said...

I hereby burn my thorax and some of my mouth parts in hopes that my exoskeleton just grows that much stronger...

Another Kiwi said...

Mr Horny goat onna clay tablet looks like he has dominion over a Eeyore sock puppet, which is more awe inspiring than the Lord of the Lettuces but not a lot.
My use of my BBQ Shrimp Whopper wrapper is my business, Sir.

Smut Clyde said...

The bottom picture actually illustrates an early stage in the evolution of the hammock, when they were still not entirely clear on the concept.

mikey said...

And even the horses are groovin on Marc's man ooobs.

Those are some hella glands, babe!

Would you even believe me if I suggested captcha wanted me to say 'balls'?

I know. Weird, huh.

Smut Clyde said...

Those are not moobs (or boobs). They are a pair of pink pigmy pangolins that have curled up on the god's chest in obedience to his mighty will. This is central to my point.

Smut Clyde said...

Having mentioned the Insect God, I am now required by the immemorial custom of our people to link to the relevant video.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I tremble before the might of the Lord of the Monerans.

Substance McGravitas said...

It beats being the god of podiatry.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I suggest beating the gods of podiatry. Cus they like it, or so I hear.

Nice use of recent-vintage BOC, by the wuzzle.

Smut Clyde said...

Disappointing. Riddled does not show up on a Dougal search for "god of podiatry". We're being suppressed by the liberal media conspiracy.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I would settle for being a Master of Debating.