Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The memo was found written in touch-gland exudation on degerminated acacia seeds

"We have not helped Jennifer for a while", it said.
OK, here's a nice unthreatening vegetarian spider.
Bagheera kiplingi pretends to be an ant. Obviously that would be easier if it had six legs instead of eight but ants are strangely unperceptive in many ways. As indeed are the acacia trees on which the ants subsist. The tree provides food for the ants, by exuding nutritious little lumps that look to me like chicken nuggets, in return for the ants acting as bodyguards and driving herbivores away. So the clever spider mingles among the ants and eats the nutritious little lumps as well... and the occasional ant larva because they taste so good, who can blame it for succumbing to temptation? They must be the spider equivalent of bacon. Hmmm.

No doubt there are also gluten-intolerant spiders out there with their own special diets. Further research is necessary.

The Wackyweedia tells us that "Only the male was described in 1896; the female was first described 100 years later by Wayne Maddison." It is a mystery how the species survived in the meantime.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Acacia who?
Acacia Nelly people laugh at this joke, but usually not.


Von said...

Love this post!!
Jennifer, however, might have to keeel you

mikey said...


Rule violation. Yellow card for Smut. In the penalty box with no beer you go. Well,ok, here, take a couple bottles of old angioplasty.

As you well know, according to the international blogging rules, section 4, presentation, subsection 9, font useage, paragraph 3(a), exceptions, the book clearly states "When using a different font to add a joke, particularly a 'knock knock' joke, to the end of a post to stand alone as an ironic commentary outside the scope of the primary post topic, the font to be used will, without exception, be Comic Sans"

Hey, man, I don't make the rules. I just like to blow the whistle...

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I'm consumed by sadness- I now want a nugget-extruding tree of my own.

A nugget-extruding tree is a perfect metaphor for the nanny state.

Kerist, now I want a nanny state.

tigris said...

Nectar-extruding tree sounds more like the wet-nurse state.

Smut Clyde said...

Wisely, the Blogger behemoth does not offer Comic Sans as an option as part of this template.

merc said...

I wanna be described.

biate, eaten twice.

Dragon-King Wangchuck said...

Not surprising that the acacia hasn't caught on to the extra legs - like most flowering trees, they can only count to five.

Willy said...

No doubt there are also gluten-intolerant spiders out there with their own special diets.

Most spiders are Atkins dieters.

mikey said...

Hmm. That perhaps explains why, when I tried to use spider poison on marauding squirrels I was notably unsuccessful.

I suppose I should go back to the .22...

Jennifer said...

Is that spider wearing Smut's party pajamas?

Smut Clyde said...

Last night I shot a spider in my pyjamas.

Jennifer said...

Is that what they call it now?