Sunday, October 3, 2010

Death Panels at Work

The 50-year-old female was euthanised last night as her health has declined dramatically over the past three years.
And did the Zoo use this opportunity to experiment with something interesting like "Lethal dose of LSD for a hippopotamus", or "Number of dwarfs a hippopotamus can swallow before choking"? NO THEY DID NOT. The vets played safe and opted for sodium pentothal.

When that didn't work, the euthanasia turned into an impromptu experiment into "lethal dosage of bullets to the head". This is some consolation.

12 comments:

Hamish Mack said...

Zadly the great days of Zoo Vets research into humourous ways of killing hippos are behind us.
I have actually been too durn close to that hippo whilst standing next to the keeper who was tossing out cabbages for them. Hippos are quite big.

mikey said...

My guess is a Hippo could absorb a surprisingly significant number of bullets before sucumbing.

Certainly true of Water Buffalo, Wild Pigs and Hadrosaurs...

Smut Clyde said...

On-line reports do not mention the bullet aspect at all, and relegate the 'euthanasia' aspect to the 2nd or 3rd paragraph, focussing on headlines like "Snorkel has Died" to give the impression that natural causes were involved.

Only the printed papers delve into the scurrilous details about resorting to bullets when the anaesthetic failed, and they did not itemise the calibre or the number.
Also the film is "Subscriber only".

Substance McGravitas said...

It wouldn't have been so sad if they'd just named her Hitler.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

From what I've seen of hippos, it might still not be dead. How did they verify the expiration?

I suggest they use liberally applied explosives to make sure. Sell tickets, or pay-per-view. My cut as the idea guy is 38%. You're welcome, Zoo.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

PLEASE BE AWARE: http://wondermark.com/c/2009-10-30-566nouns.gif

A Vexation of Zombies. Awesome.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

The vets played safe and opted for sodium pentothal.

Lyin' hippo had it coming!

Smut Clyde said...

http://wondermark.com/c/2009-10-30-566nouns.gif
Says "A finery of sphinxes".

Plural form is of course "sphinges". I should not have to say this.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

A senate of griffins says farewell to hitlerpotamus.
~

mikey said...

A sling of psychopaths walk into a bar. The first psychopath says "I'll have a Singapore Sling."

The other psychopaths beat him to death with the light fixtures and a bench.

Mendacious D said...

A clubbing of Chupacabra

A discotheque of imps?

tigris said...

It wouldn't have been so sad if they'd just named her Hitler.

And just imagine how differently we'd feel about Hitler if he'd been named Snorkel!