Saturday, January 8, 2011

Zorbs: Unclear on the concept

I am not an expert but it seems to me that the zorb will go faster if you ride inside rather than try to balance on top with crutches and a pair of omnidirectional roller-skates.





Of course the model can be excused for her failure to think it through, since she was in great haste at the time to escape from what appears to be an enraged tamarind pod.


The artist can also be forgiven since he was probably completely out of his gourd:
In August 2003 Jörg Immendorff was caught in the luxury suite of a Düsseldorf hotel with seven prostitutes (and four more on their way) and some cocaine. More cocaine was found in his studio; all in all, the found substances contained 6.6 grams of pure cocaine, above the legal threshold for personal use. In interviews, he attempted to explain his actions with his terminal illness and as an expression of his "orientalism" that provided inspiration for his work. He also complained about prostitutes "who don't understand that a good whore does not divulge anything about her clients." [...] At the trial in July 2004, he admitted to having organized 27 similar orgies between February 2001 and August 2003. [...] He had been suspended from his position at the university but was reinstated after the verdict.
OMFSM the tamarind pod has exploded! Flee! Save yourselves!

16 comments:

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I am not an expert but it seems to me that the zorb will go faster if you ride inside rather than try to balance on top with crutches and a pair of omnidirectional roller-skates.

That zorb was designed by Arakawa and Madeline Gins.

"who don't understand that a good whore does not divulge anything about her clients."

Elliot Spitzer nods in agreement...

Another Kiwi said...

Fuck me days. That is a weird shit house

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Perhaps Jörg should have used a better defense.

When in Düsseldorf, do as the Düsseldorfians do:

Drink Altbier, do coke, call up prostitutes.
~

tigris said...

crutches and a pair of omnidirectional roller-skates.

Enslaved orbs and riding crops.

Smut Clyde said...

designed by Arakawa and Madeline Gins.
Dammit, those people have stolen my "Dazzle-ship decor" concept.

Smut Clyde said...

That is a weird shit house

Oh no. A "weird shit house" is one designed by Arakawa and Madeline Gins.

Another Kiwi said...

I see what you did there.

Smut Clyde said...

This is the time when so-called "moderate architects", if there are any, should be denouncing and condemning the actions of extremists and radicals.

Another Kiwi said...

Yes Ian Athfield where are you now???

mikey said...

Meh.

Six or seven grams of coke and eleven prostitutes hardly constitutes an 'ogry'. My gawd, have you Riddlers no standards at all? That's barely a 'party', more of an 'afternoon tea before the real drugs get here'.

I went to a party in West San Rafael one night where there were three hundred naked people and a fifty five gallon drum of Hawaiian punch laced with enough liquid LSD to bring about peace in our time. I gave all the Quaaludes in my pockets away before I took off my pants, and when I got home I had two Italian sisters (the del Reno girls, it turns out) and a pair of surprisingly well-fitting leather trousers.

Substance McGravitas said...

Is this the first recorded instance of mikey gaining pants?

mikey said...

Quantitatively, there was zero net gain in trousers that night.

While it can be argued that the net result was a qualitative trouser increase, the fact that I returned with precisely the same number of trousers I had when I left cannot be disputed...

Another Kiwi said...

It is for precisely this reason that scientific records must be kept.
The resting state of Mikey's trousers is the key factor here and we only have a subjective analysis of that.

mikey said...

Observation in this case is challenging, as the most common location of mikey's trousers is someplace where mikey is not, leading us to conclude that the best we can do is state accurately the velocity of mikey's trousers.

Smut Clyde said...

MIkey's trousers remain in a superposition of the 'on' and 'off' states until an observation is made,* collapsing the quantum indeterminacy.

* Or vouchsafed.

Another Kiwi said...

Indeed, measurement of the velocity of Mikey's trousers may affect said* velocity. Can we, in fact, be sure as to the state of Mikey's trousers by observation? Or do we need experiential evidence?


* or vouchsafed