Thursday, July 28, 2011

I've been searching, searching

Today's search terms bringing visitors to the sumptuously-appointed and recently made-over Riddled premises include:
  • lancome julia roberts banned
  • log splitter woodcut
  • ophiocordyceps sinensis
  • red deer cross
  • erotic asphyxiation
  • stilt costume
and the perennial favourite, 'penisworm'. Last week's surge of inquiries about 'mimic octopus' turned out to be a passing fad.

I blame Darren Naish for shifting Tetrapod Zoology from its old address to a new affiliation with Scientific American. Now all the Tet Zoophiles cannot find it so they congregate at Riddled instead hoping to assuage their cravings for cervid miscegenation and giraffe autoasphyxiation. We try not to be judgemental but you are all dirty dirty people.

At the same time we try to keep our customers happy, even the deer fetishists, so here's an inflatable reindeer orgy:
That's not something you see every day (unless of course you visit this site at 24-hour intervals).

17 comments:

vacuumslayer said...

If you've got worms in your penis, consult a physician*.

Recent searches at Casa de Slayer:

insidious demon

109









a smorgasbord aptly slain

37









demon from insidious

10









aptly slain

9









red faced demon insidious

7









demon insidious

4









emmanuelle beart

4









insidious demon face

4









red faced demon

4









asmorgasord aptly slain

3








*NOT Dr. Bimler.

Another Kiwi said...

Log Splitter Woodcut?
That Jeb Woodcut's boy? From over on Pusillanimous crik?

vacuumslayer said...

Sorry for posting long! I blame WordPress.

ckc (not kc) said...

...as orgies go (so I'm told), that one seems to be rather neat and symmetrical - is this

1. better
2. worse
3. irrelevant

WV exthot (well, it was the best I could do at the moment)

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

why do I come here?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Celine?

ckc (not kc) said...

asmorgasord

At an asmorgasbord, if you want meatballs, you'll have to pay for them individually.

mikey said...

asmorgasbord?

Isn't that Thor's boss?

Made his money in food service?

Smut Clyde said...

Disappointingly, no-one has come searching for "inflatable reindeer orgy" yet, but these are still early days. Instead there's been a searcher for "forklift accident with headphones". THAT WASN'T ME.

asmorgasbord
VS' visitor was probably searching for S'moresbrod, a favourite breakfast among Scandiwegian campers.

H. Rumbold, Master Barber said...

Efforting some SEO magic, reindeer games.

Smut Clyde said...

Celine?
Searching for Cervena.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

How do you check for your popular search engine referrals, S.C.?
~

Another Kiwi said...

I am answering on behalf of my client Mr. smut Clyde, who has taken to his Chaise Longue in his sad puppy pyjamas, smoking jacket and smoking hat after a traumatic reading of the script for "The Hobbit: The wanking competition goes horribly wrong" ( I warned him against this).
When you are signed into Blooger, click on 'New Post' and then look along the tabs at the top of the posting thingy. There is one called "stats" click on it and then click on "traffic sources".
Please send the computor advisory cheque to: Herr Doktor Bimler, Rooms 14a,14c and 15f
Riddled Manor

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Perhaps by way of payment I could forward you the email of one

REV.BARRISTER JAMES PHILIPS
ST.PETER AND PAUL PARISH,
EASTERN LONDON,UK?

He is seeking aid in disbursing the US 7.5 million dollar sum his deceased client, Mary Sue, left behind.

P.S. Not much in my recent searches. Frida Kahlo is there, but it's supposed to be Frida Kahlo terror monkey, dangit.
~

Kathleen said...

mimic octopus was on xkcd

M. Bouffant said...

Sitemeter will let you see where your referrals come from.

And (if you pay) it lets you see the full IP addresses of your readers.

Not to worry, I don't pay.

fish said...

recent searches:

eye roll (not as delicious as it sounds)

Chris Chase sucks (yes he does)

How many spiders do you eat in a year? (rather personal)

LOL tits (always a winner)

Darwin's finches (those guys can party)