Saturday, July 23, 2011

Wounds are all I'm made of

There's good news and bad news, Jesus.
There always is, Thomas. There always is.
The good news is that my cousin Stumpy -- you know Stumpy, you cured his leprosy -- he'll join the disciples and give all his money to the poor, if you let him probe your chest wound like you let me.
So what's the bad news?
He won't be using his finger.

UPDATE: Bad people going on about tentacles in the comments leave me no option other than to break out the Félicien Rops art. Now I'll have to use the Bloody Belgians tag. I hate it when that happens.

22 comments:

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

That's like David Cronenberg Jesus pr0n.

I see serious profit in this...

Smut Clyde said...

So long as there are NO TENTACLES. That would be wrong.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I wouldn't limit your market like that, S.C.

Think of the $$$.
~

Smut Clyde said...

Well if someone wants to photoshop the original to replace Thomas with a Hentai tentacle-rape creature, go ahead, but I want no part of it.

fish said...

I would, but I don't want that showing up in my google search history. Dr. Mrs. fish might have some uncomfortable questions (again).

tigris said...

Jesus tentacle rape is sure to brings in the Google hits!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

See!

Tigris knows bizness!
~

mikey said...

Oh dear. I seem to have lost my watch. Excuse me, kind sir, but might you have my watch?

What? No, I'm the son of god for me sakes, what the ayche eee double hockey sticks would I need with a watch?

If you'd be so kind, sir, let me just check your pocketses for ye...

What? Stop that. Get away from me, you shambling halfwit!

What's this, then? It's an odd pocket indeed. Methinks you might be hiding all sorts of loot and take and swag and all up in here. Why it seems to go all the way back to your...

Dad Dammit, you freak. Getcher filthy finger outta my wound before I call down the furies, or, um the furries, or some kinda old testament awful infestation of bugs or something - gad, but I hate bugs. ** Shiver**

vacuumslayer said...

That's like David Cronenberg Jesus pr0n.


Oh, I see now B^4 is stealing fish's gig of making jokes I so ACHINGLY wanted to make. I HATE YOU FOREVER AND EVER, B^4.

BTW, Riddled Staff, the fact that I immediately searched for the "Crash" wound-fucking scene is ample proof that I've turned in a thoroughly debauched human being. I blame this blog. And, yes, I may sue. I know you're very well acquainted with my attorney, Cuddles Goldstein.

Substance McGravitas said...

You people are just sick. Maybe there is a SURPRISE in there.

Smut Clyde said...

I immediately searched for the "Crash" wound-fucking scene
Send us a link if you find it and I will happily incorporate it in the post and then erase your comments so as to claim credit for it.
Must confess, "Crash" is one Cronenberg movie I haven't seen.

Another Kiwi said...

Also madam, we just provide thought provoking articles and stuff. If you want to go and get all weird arse on it, no backsies on us.

Smut Clyde said...

In order to successfully sue Riddled for her debauched condition, VS will have to convince a court that she was ever bauched in the first place.

ckc (not kc) said...

...just provide thought provoking articles and stuff

See?..See?! He said "provoking"! Oh, that's a dead giveaway!

vacuumslayer said...

If you want to go and get all weird arse on it

Oh yeah. I'm the weird one.

VS will have to convince a court that she was ever bauched in the first place.


I was the most bauched person any of you will ever know!

Also, tigris pointed me to a tentacle rape cartoon. I rest my case, Your Honor.

vacuumslayer said...

omg, w/v was "nesse." The Riddle blog is NO SKEPTIC.

Kathleen said...

needs more unicorns

Smut Clyde said...

Updated with more unicorns OOPS.

Kathleen said...

MY EYES

tigris said...

There are 6 horns, which is WAY TOO HORNY for a unicorn. Do people Google Sexicorn tentacle porn? If so, YOU'RE WELCOME.

Anonymous said...

How nice of Rops to leave the dainty shoes and stockings undisturbed... I guess naked toes would have been a bit much!

wiley said...

Will. not. look.