Saturday, August 13, 2011

Important news for Jean M. Auel*

One thing I learned from those old Time-Life books on The Emergence of Man (are they still in print, or have they been replaced by a Human Creation library?) was that our distant paleolithic ancestors lived in a state of primitive egalitarianism. All sharing the labour; no marks of rank except maybe the tribal elders get sticks; everyone wearing the same animal hides except slipping down on the nubile women umm that's all I remember.



But now we learn that even 45000 years ago, disparities of wealth were large enough to support a hereditary elite who could devote their lives to leisure and acquiring frivolous luxuries to advertise their status. Nothing else can explain the existence of specially-bred miniature mammoths with poodle-cut fur.**

I do not rate for Professor MacGonigal's absurd theory that the painting depicts a mythical mammoth that always eludes the hunters because of its special bouncy footwear.

* Alternative title: Bury me near the Secret Cave.
**
Also fur bikinis.

8 comments:

Hamish Mack said...

It wasn't a pull-along toy Mammoth? Even in those days the sucker grandma market would have been around.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

It wasn't a pull-along toy Mammoth?

Wheely mammoth?

Guys, for a couple of consummate jokesmiths, you're slipping!

M. Bouffant said...

Ah yes, had that very Time-Life book in eighth-grade anthro. (Helped wise me up about certain claims by certain groups.) I wonder if they are still available.

The bouncy footwear is not the most interesting aspect of that image.

Secret "cove," not "cave." Gotcha!!

P.S.: The pic to the left of Rocky & her friends requires signing in or something. My curiosity is piqued.

M. Bouffant said...

Nope, looks like the last revision was 1981. Or '65.

Resolution On The Book Early Man
June 1980

WHEREAS, Time-Life Publications has published the book Early Man with a target group of 9-12 year-old children, and

WHEREAS, Early Man plainly declares that "most modern Christians and Jews" no longer regard the sacred doctrines of biblical creation and heaven and hell as being literal, and

WHEREAS, The Baptist Faith and Message declares these doctrines to be literal as recorded in the Bible,

Therefore be it RESOLVED, That the messengers to the Southern Baptist Convention meeting in St. Louis, Missouri, June 10-12, 1980 reaffirm our belief in a literal biblical creation and a literal heaven and hell, and

Be it further RESOLVED, That individual Southern Baptists be encouraged to write letters to Time-Life Publications, Alexandria, Virginia, protesting the denial of biblical teaching concerning the creation of man as printed in the book, "Early Man."

St. Louis, Missouri

Smut Clyde said...

I wonder if they are still available.

They seem to be circulating on eBay.

When I went image-searching for a decent copy of the cover, more than half the websites mentioning "Early Man" turned out to be Creationists complaining about the half-truths, simplifications and distortions used by those perfidious evolutionists.

Smut Clyde said...

Guys, for a couple of consummate jokesmiths,

We are not worthy to compete with the Masterdon.

mikey said...

"Be it further resolved that we'll write some letters."

Are you KIDDdING me? Man, extremist chrisianist activism has become something of a pathetic parody...

Hamish Mack said...

a couple of consummate jokesmiths
A mammoth goes into a bar and asks to use the phone. "Sure" says the barman "but no trunk calls"