Transporting mynahs across a staid lion

Penelope is so old that it doesn't even appear in the lists of "talking dolphin science fiction novels" that kids these days compile when they are not otherwise occupied with getting on my lawn.* Note, though, how the mycophagia dialog provides a natural segue from an earlier post. A natural segue is required as a substitute for the "fluke accident" joke that was intended to structure this post before tigris stole it.

Here is a cute heart-warming story about a dolphin with a prosthetic tail. There is a movie. She lost her original tail in a SHUT UP SMUT

Naturally our immediate response at Riddled Enterprises was to wonder "How many complete loons out there in Otherkin circles are reading this story with prurient fascination and pondering how they too can acquire prosthetic tails of their own, to fit their self-image as dolphin souls trapped in human bodies? And how can we extract money from them?"

It is a fortunate coincidence that our colleagues at Weta Workshop -- purveyors of digitigrade leg extensions to well-heeled furries** -- are also creating prosthetic mermaid tails as a replacement for truncated legs.

But oddly enough, a cursory inspection of Encyclopedia Dramatica and WikiFur reveals a serious dearth of weird people actually seeking surgical intervention to turn them into dolphins. Or mermades. Though for rubber-dolphin suit fetish artwork for a discerning clientele, see here, OH MY GOD MY EYES I CAN STILL SEE

This is probably just as well. I would hate to be in the position of a surgeon having to explain to a patient with major body-image issues that professional ethics preclude the amputation of a perfectly good pair of legs merely to make room for a cetacean tail prosthesis. Option 1: Team up with a like-minded individual (preferably an Icelandic pixie) for a session of mutual consensual leg removal with flensing knives, aboard a Japanese whaling vessel in the midst of a raging storm.

Option 2: Arrange for the loss of one's lower extremities in a carefully-choreographed SHUT UP SMUT

* Contemporaneous with Flipper, and even preceding Day of the Dolphin, Penelope was published back when Lilly was still progressing from his cetacean-speech research to his "ripped off his tits on Sandoz's finest" research. Szilard's Voice of the Dolphins is still the fore-runner in the genre.

Oh look, there is a 1974 sequel! I did not know that.



** DIY digitigrade leg extensions from a performance in the National Gallery in Prague: