Saturday, October 29, 2011

Snakehips Etcetera

Bram Dijkstra called the world's attention to the existence of preternaturally flexible women, seemingly possessed of ball-&-socket joints along their spines like so many Bellmer dolls, allowing them to assume attitudes more angular than Anglo-Saxon. Many of them, it seems, were employed as artists' models:
The painting in question
The world paid Dijkstra no heed, however. Partly because he is the author of the worst, least honest, most lulzful books on art theory / social history ever written (and if he is not yet writing for Big Hollywood, then it is only a matter of time), and partly because he misread the evidence as an expression of artistic misogyny:
(the opisthotonic posture of the naked ladies was allegedly intended to increase their sexual allure by implying helplessness and paralysis. This is why Dijkstra is under restraining orders banning his visits to the spinal-injury wards in a number of hospitals).

In fact Snakehips Isreal. Any fule kno that hot chicks with bizarre spinal deformities and lordosis poses are as common in the Old Masters as in art of the late 1800s; and in the scoliosis-fetishist cartoonists who have replaced Rubens in today's degraded world.*


A 1989 documentary explored the secretive world of these opisthotonic creatures. It turns out that their spinal flexibility comes of being a different species from homo sapiens, with less-defined body boundaries.

They follow a rather different code of morality. Often they occupy positions of power.

Sometimes their parties get out of hand.

* Indebted (if that is the word) to N__B (if that is his name) for alerting me to the existence of Rob Liefeld. The Gazoogle search for Mr Liefeld leads with this link.

19 comments:

vacuumslayer said...

Where's the "Triggering vs" tag?

W/v is "bumiss"

mikey said...

Spencer on Liefeld.

I never got comix. So I don't have a dawg in this fight. But looking at the pictures, my sense is the dood could use some pills.

But then, couldn't we all...

Another Kiwi said...

Day by Day comic style explained. Now if only we could figure out WTF it is about.

Smut Clyde said...

I never got comix.

I am in favour of any obsessions that make my own monomanias seem slightly less bizarre in comparison.

Anonymous said...

Now Smut, this really goes from the sublime to the gor-blimey! We can see what the first few artists are at least TRYING to do (and Cabanel succeeds): demonstrate idealized "waist-hip ratio" (Wicki) denoting maximum fertility and health... which applies to both sexes strangely enough! Then in the last three pictures they're up to god knows what.

I can only conclude that Rubens either never had access to a female nude model, or he left all the dames to his studio-hands. All his Sabines and Venuses are uniformly BAD.

Did you ever notice Cezanne avoids hands and feet too? - I think it has to do with feel and flow... you have to slow right down to draw them accurately!

You might enjoy Wicki's "high-heeled footwear."

wiley said...

Being the smart-ass that he was, Picasso applied to an art academy with figurative drawings of people sans hands and feet, as if they were too hard for him to draw.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

He has on a backwards cap, and when he turns it around, it's still backwards.

Got it?


I think I do!
~

Smut Clyde said...

from the sublime to the gor-blimey!

We try to alternate between the sublime and the quicklime.

Another Kiwi said...

Hey now, the sub-lime market crash WAS NOT OUR FAULT!!!

Anonymous said...

Also see R. Crumb, whose manipulations of the female body are quite suggestive. His bio-pic is, well... almost made me vomit, but in a good way.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Being the smart-ass that he was, Picasso applied to an art academy with figurative drawings of people sans hands and feet, as if they were too hard for him to draw.

Smart-ass, but not an asshole.

tigris said...

Can one have more than one monomania? Because Christmas is coming.

Smut Clyde said...

I need to acquire three more hobby horses before I can reenact the Kentucky Derby.

Substance McGravitas said...

Why can't the ladies just assume the proportions we believe are best for them? How hard can it be?

Anonymous said...

This is all scientific, no intent to shock (ya right), but there's even a Barbie-look snatch:

http://urogyn.org/cases/case8_new.html

Substance McGravitas said...

I stand erect for science.

nedbeaumontjr said...

Indebted (if that is the word) to N__B (if that is his name) for alerting me to the existence of Rob Liefeld. The Gazoogle search for Mr Liefeld leads with this link.

You have two unclosed parentheses. An infinite loop awaits.

nedbeaumontjr said...

Never mind. Too much beer.

Smut Clyde said...

Too much beer.
You make NO SENSE.