Trend watch

"So what are the hip trendy websites blogging about so far this year?" Another Kiwi wanted to know. He had managed to wrest the official Riddled Editorial Hat from tigris after a brief tussle -- the battered gray fedora, with the PRESS badge tucked into the brim that dispensed whisky from a concealed spigot -- which made him Acting Editor Pro-tem Locum Honsec.

"Apparently titles referring to Blue Öyster Cult lyrics are fashionable," I vouchsafed.

"Excellent! Make a note of that!"

"B-Flat," said tigris.

"What else have they mentioned? Not that we would stoop to stealing ideas."

"Sex shops are the topic of choice," I continued:

One thing led to another, as it will, and we decided that her idea of a second-hand bookshop/café, whilst excellent in itself, was perhaps not sufficient, and thoughts quickly turned to complementary activities, like a sex shop as an annexe. You would, I admit, have to pick your books fairly carefully, and make it clear somehow that this particular area was not necessarily family-friendly.

Whatever, we got quite enthused with the idea after the second glass, and started brainstorming, for a good name is very important in commerce. All about brand recognition, apparently. "Becks & Bryan: Purveyor's of Quality Refurbished and Second-Hand Sex Toy's Since 2011" says it all but is a bit of a mouthful, and does rather encourage grocer's apostrophe: "Vibrators R'Us" is snappier. Or, quite simply, and kind of sums it up in a nutshell, "Dildo & Co.". The feedback so far has been positive, always an encouraging thing. (We'll try to forget about my Bryan's suggestion of "The Cock Shop", shall we?)

AK's eyebrows rose and harrowed his forehead into a veritable ploughed field of furrows. "Isn't that encroaching on the topic of the reconditioned vibrator trade, such as been covered by our colleague mikey on a number of occasions?"

" I do vaguely recall that self-same subject receiving some attention in a Sadly,No! comment thread a few years ago," I admitted:

It has belatedly occurred to me that if I were the one running a vibrator-repair service, I would call it Œstrus. Then people would ask how it was pronounced, giving me the chance to explain that “The O is silent”.
Plan B would be to have a side-line of repairing watches and changing batteries and things, so the shop could be called “The 13 Clocks and the Wonderful O”.

"Why are you speaking in that robotic monotone?" tigris wanted to know.

"I thought that's what you wanted," I said.