"Spirit of the Age" blogging: I would've liked you to have been deep frozen too

The concept behind the Riddled cryogenics program is to activate the cryogenes that (as any fule kno) lie dormant within the uncharted folds of the human genome, waiting until they are needed to switch cell metabolism into the solid-state frozen-protoplasm mode. Contra Substance McGravitas, they have nothing to do with blubbing like a gurl.

Stealing pictures from Jennifer

Rlim Shaikorth

It is not clear what strange transformations will occur upon the demethylation of the cryogenes. One source informs us that only those puissant necromancers who have undergone the ice-change are fit to dwell with Rlim Shaikorth the Great White Worm upon the high ramparts of his iceberg / citadel Yikilth. There is some doubt whether their metabolism can be restored to the normal mode afterwards.*

For long months the experiments did not yield encouraging results, although Another Kiwi is adamant that the test animals are showing brain activity in fMRI scans. It may be that we are not freezing them fast enough. Thus there has been gnashing of teeth in the Riddled Research Laboratory, and lashing out in anger upon the innocent Mettler Balance, and thoughtful silences broken only by the squeak of chalk upon blackboard and the periodic splosh of gingernut in teacup.

But now the answer has arrived, in the form of a suggestion -- from another reliable source -- that extreme acceleration may operate in a similar transformative way to extreme sub-zero temperatures, if only it is high enough.

So our cunning plan now is to activate those pesky genes by imposing two abrupt environmental changes at once -- flash-freezing and deceleration. I hope this will mollify the casual visitors and the unsympathetic inspectors from the Animal Welfare Unit, and assuage their concerns when we are seen catapulting goldfish tanks from high windows to land in the nitrogen cryostat.

There have certainly been transformations. The goldfish undergoes changes. Radical changes.



So far the results have not been replicable from one test-run to the next.


Is it about a Fishcicle?

* "...no man could depart therefrom and live again in solar warmth and terrene air, having been habituated to the coldness and thin ether."