Monday, June 4, 2012

Teaching us a lesson

Inevitably, Smut and I grow tired of dissolving iron filings in Jimkin Bearhugger's Old Persnickity Blonde Ale and begin to discuss the state of the nation.
"It's not very flat" I vouchsafed "I went in a plane once and you could see how lumpy it was"
"Ah" quoth Smut "but what about the people in the country? Are they happy, well feed, have bright hopes of a post-modern well educated future?"
"There are some enormous hills up the back of Whanganui" I said. "Big up-and-down buggers".
"Well" chipped in tigris getting all technical "I think the latest government moves on education prove that they have a future in mind that is not educated, unless it is education in a working-until-you-drop sense"
"Some hills" I opined " don't look so steep from a plane but others look worse".
Smut said "They seem to have some ideas that are not exactly helpful to the general populous, One could almost say Helping Their Friends, if one was unkind."
"That would be unkind" I said abandoning my topographical observations "a whole school can't be one person's friend, they can't know everyone, and not everyone is very nice"
"But" Smut pointed out "the National party has a long history of not liking education, so we shouldn't be surprised that they should attack it"
tigris quickly noted "AK your school was quite a lot different to schools today. We know you didn't like it but these schools are education centres not indoctrination camps, like yours was".
A strong smell of sour milk seemed the fill the air and visions of flying chalk dusters flew through my head.
"Also" explained Smut "they are having a go at universities as well. Just to put the nail in the coffin."
"It is a two pronged attack" I said "hopefully it will destroy the teacher unions who keep the wages artificially low and thus attract The Wrong Sort of People to the job as the newspaper said. Well, actually what it said was Teh Rong Sert of Popells. Sometimes I think they have monkey journalists."
Evangeline von Holsterin began to look at our empty glasses and the empty peanut bowl, in a meaningful way.
"Let us adjourn to the karaoke bar and try for tonight's grand prize" advised  Smut, "Mrs Wilkinson's card trick dog is sick, we are in with a chance"


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

If you waste money educating the peons, pretty soon they start wanting stuff, and it never ends.

vacuumslayer said...

I've heard it's your people who are lumpy and your mountains that are futury-educated. QUIT LYING! QUIT RAPING THE PEOPLE!!!

Also, Karoke? I'm in! Somebody queue this up for me.

tigris said...

a whole school can be one person's friend!

vacuumslayer said...

I've decided that whenever I'm annoyed, I'm just going to shout out "STOP RAPING THE PEOPLE!"

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

That's only going to encourage them, vs.

Substance McGravitas said...

The goal of MORE WEALTH FOR ALL is achieved only by paying everybody less.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Substance has an erroneous copy. It is MOAR WEALTH FOR SOME.

"More Wealth For All" is the marketing campaign.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I've decided that whenever I'm annoyed, I'm just going to shout out "STOP RAPING THE PEOPLE!"

It increases the impact if you remove most, but not all, of your teeth.

Smut Clyde said...

Also, Karoke? I'm in!
Apparently VS and a friend were in Auckland a few nights ago.

Smut Clyde said...

I've heard it's your people who are lumpy

Nothing but the finest delicacies for our lumpenproletariat!

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...


Meanwhile, the kakapos continue fucking tourists' noggins.

Another Kiwi said...

Ah hah Mr. Bastard is complicit in today's synchronicity as it is only two days since I have seen the plastic helmet Department of Conservation workers had to wear to save their hair from Kakapo "shampoo"

fish said...

Apparently VS and a friend were in Auckland a few nights ago.

No, that was me. STOP JUDGING!