Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Through a fault of our designing We are lost among the windings Of these metal ways

We were expecting a night of relaxation from our responsibilities, for it was Convergent-Evolution-of-Malpighian-Tubules Trivia and Welding-Plastic-Tea-spoons-into-Sculptures-with-a-Cigarette-Lighter Evening at the Old Entomologist. But there is no respite for we horny-handed tons of soil who labour in the gardens of Academe... for tigris was wanting to know, is there any progress with the planarian-based cloning technique that we were heralding two years ago just the other day with drum and fife?

As you can see, the process is out of the laboratory now and into production. The Beta testers are encountering a peculiar side-effect... something to do with the flatworms concentrating metal ions from the environment. Another Kiwi is inclined to blame this on the Mollycule Theory, and on bringing the flatworms into repeated violent contact with jokes that are an iron. If the problem persists we will simply re-brand the process as a tool for Superfund bio-remediation.


Also certain poor losers individuals should have known better than try to weld plastic tea-spoons with iPhones, which may be the same size as a cigarette lighter but are NO SUBSTITUTE.

14 comments:

Siriuis Lunacy said...

Convergent-Evolution-of-Malpighian-Tubules Trivia

I'll take Arachnid Taint for $400, Alex.

The answer is... It's brown and suond like a bell.

What is... Dung!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Tigris is scrupulous.
~

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

FOR THE HALIBUT!
~

vacuumslayer said...

Convergent-Evolution-of-Malpighian-Tubules Trivia and Welding-Plastic-Tea-spoons-into-Sculptures-with-a-Cigarette-Lighter Evening at the Old Entomologist.

It's times like this I feel like your lives are significantly more interesting than mine.

But before you get to feeling smug, ask yourself THIS: When was the last time you got to discuss the texture of poop while changing a diaper...or enjoy a rousing rerun of a mediocre sitcom? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm?

tigris said...

horny-handed tons of soil

I told you not to self-Evolvamat.

Substance McGravitas said...

You guys might wanna stick their heads in the Evolvamat some more because they're wandering around like idiots.

fish said...

The good news is when you cut them in half, you get two. If they are encrusted in nickel, it is a way to get a dime.

Smut Clyde said...

because they're wandering around like idiots

Says the man from Zombie Walk city.

Substance McGravitas said...

Our zombies are polite AND SMART. Except for the one with that big screw through his head.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Holy shit, I haven't seen a lighter the size of an iPhone since my Grampaw was alive...how backward is your technology in Zild. DO I HAVE TO SPEAK LOUDER?

Smut Clyde said...

DO I HAVE TO SPEAK LOUDER?

Depends. Is M. Bouffant listening?

M. Bouffant said...

What? Someone say something?

fish said...

early lighter

Another Kiwi said...

The mollycule impact of iron may be a limiting factor in this market. Perhaps the spinach juice content of the taq polymerase mix should be adjusted.