J'Accuzi!

Report of the Riddled Add-Hock Fountain Replacement Subcommittee.

1. Our remit was to examine options for replacing the much-loved Emo Cats Fountain in front of Riddled Manor (damaged last month by jaguars falling from the sky, IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY). Or was that our ambit? The two are easily confused.

2. Evangeline van Holsterin and her idiot boyfriend tabled a bill purporting to itemise their "Expenses accrued while scouring the world for fountain designs". Foremost on the list were "Matching his-and-hers bespoke fur-suits". Asked as to the necessity of these, E.v.H. explained that the covert nature of their investigations obliged them to "travel incognito". These do not look like a cognito to us. Further documentation was requested.

Old-fashioned 'flapjack'
method of 3D printing

3. 3D Printing. The technology has progressed immensely over the years and stereolithography is now widely used in the rapid production of Ally Gorical statues for furnishing Memory Palaces. See figures below showing the Riddled stereolitho tanks as the unused photopolymer solution is drained away to reveal the statues formed within it by the scanning UV beam. There is something odd happening with the flautists on the far right but we do not judge the EllieGories of other people, especially not paying customers.

Perhaps the worst problem with the stereolitho tanks is certain people entering them while they are in operation, believing them to be hot tubs. We ban ZRM and ban him again but each time he sneaks back in.

4.There is still room for improvement on the resolution when this technology is used for fountains. Close examination reveals jaggy artefacts.

Source

5. We attempted to print out fountain prototypes using designs provided by E.v.H. and I.B., but the results are consistently grotesque. It must be a tradition (or an old charter or something), or another of those completely unforeseeable effects of using the Morphogenic Field Flux Intensifier. Either that or the software running the 3D printer has been hacked. Not accusing anyone but suspicion does turn to thwarted and disgruntled hot tubs users.

That is wrong on more levels than Amway.

Thx Feuilleton for inspiration.